Never Love Again: The Detective & The M E
by DazzledByTheNorthman
Summary: Fate has changed their lives forever but will they ever allow themselves to love again? Contains Slash, OMCs and OFCs.
1. A Fresh Start

CSI: NY /Twilight Crossover

Never Love Again – The Detective & The M.E.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any book or media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Summary: Fate has changed their lives forever but will they ever allow themselves to love again? Contains Slash, OMCs and OFCs.

EPOV

When it became clear that Bella's heart was no longer in our relationship, I broke it off and decided to get the hell out of Forks and start over somewhere new and far away from all of the memories. I skimmed the message boards/forums for Medical Examiners and came across a posting for an M.E. for the NY City Coroner's office under the NYPD's Crime Lab. I submitted my resume and other requested documentation and within 3 days I was contacted for an interview. I took 2 days off from my current job as an assistant M.E. at Seattle General and flew to New York. I met with a group of 6 people, including the Detective who ran the Crime Lab – Mac Taylor. He reminded me of my own father Carlisle who was a surgeon also working at Seattle General. The day-long round of interviews went well and they thanked me for coming in and said that I would hear from them within a few days. That was Monday, on Thursday I received a call from Mac Taylor extending a formal offer. I accepted it and we agreed upon a start date of 3 weeks. I immediately called my father and asked if I could come up to his office and speak to him. When I entered Carlisle's office I could tell that he was braced for bad news. When I told him about the job and the fact that I would be moving to New York in three weeks, he said that he was sad that I would be moving so far away, but that it was a good opportunity career wise and that he had frankly been expecting something as he knew that staying in Forks after my break-up with Bella would be very difficult for me. Carlisle is such a compassionate and understanding man, but he really had no idea how it felt.

Bella and I had been high-school sweethearts ever since she moved to Forks from Phoenix our junior year and we had been together ever since; over 10 years. Ten years of me in medical school and M.E. certification and training, her working at the Seattle Times as a writer while trying to write the great American novel in her spare time. We knew that we eventually wanted to get married, settle down and have kids, the life that everyone around us had. That was until a few weeks ago when she told me that she couldn't 'do us' anymore. I felt my heart break the instant she said those words. I ended out relationship and moved out of the apartment we shared that weekend. My parents were happy to have one of their children back in the nest, but sad about the circumstances that led to it. The hardest part was having to deal with all of the questions from friends and family, as well as all of the pitying looks that were thrown my way. It was harder still to watch my siblings; they had everything that I wanted so badly. My sister Alice was blissfully pregnant with her and her husband Jasper's first child; a girl. She owned her own event planning business and Jasper was a History professor at UDub. My brother Emmett who was an Assistant coach for the Seattle Sea Hawks and his wife Rose was a custom restorer/mechanic of high end luxury, classic automobiles; they were the proud parents of 2 year twin boys Masen and Brandon. They were the two cutest little boys you have ever seen and I could not help spoiling them as their only uncle. They were all happy and healthy, had great jobs, beautiful homes, loving relationships and here I was with noting. It was hard to see that every day and have everybody around you pity you for losing out on your shot at it. I felt like a failure. Carlisle understood that this was an opportunity for me to leave it all behind and start anew. I let him believe that that's what I was doing, but the truth of the matter was that I didn't want to love again. I had just put 10 years of my life into a relationship with the woman I thought that I would spend the rest of my life with only to get my heart broken. I was not going to put myself through that again.

That day, I gave my two week's notice to the head of my department Dr. Carver. He seemed truly disappointed to be losing me, but agreed that it was a great opportunity; he gave me the name of a friend –Dr. Jack Preston whom he had gone to medical school with and whom he was still friends with who I could look up and would help me settle into New York. He was an oncologist at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center.

That next night at our usual Friday night dinner, I told the rest of my family about my new job and the move to New York. I was met with a stunned silence; I guess Carlisle had been the only one who had a sense of what I had been thinking. Carlisle and I were very close as I was the first born and we were so very similar. My mother hugged me and said she was very happy for me but I could see the tears forming in her eyes. Rose was angry that I was just going to abandon my family who loved me and move away to be among strangers. Alice was upset that I would not be around for the birth of her daughter and she was sad that she was losing her big brother. I could give them no reassurance, because in my heart I knew that once I left this town I would not be back outside of an annual Christmas visit. Jasper looked me in the eye and told me that he supported me and that he was happy for me; of all of them Jasper knew me the best. We had been friends in all through high school and then had shared an apartment in college before he had moved in with Alice and I with Bella. He was my best friend. Emmett was his usual happy go lucky self and slapped me on the back and announced that 'he was happy I was moving to the big apple and would probably be living the high life and dating Victoria Secret supermodels.' That made us all laugh and the black cloud that had settled after my announcement lifted. They were alarmed when I told them that I would be moving in three weeks, they wanted a longer time to get used to the fact that I would be leaving them for good.

I called Dr. Preston in New York and he said that he had been expecting my call after speaking with Dr. Carver. I told him that I would be in New York the following weekend to see about a place to live and that's when he told me about an apartment that a colleague was looking to rent as she was moving to Italy and didn't want to sell the place. The apartment was in a quiet neighborhood in Brooklyn Heights. He assured me that it was just short subway commute into Manhattan to my new office. I liked the idea of living away from the hustle and bustle of NYC, so I told him to let his colleague know that I was definitely interested. He said that he would pass on my information to Dr. Yang and have her contact me. A few days later I received a call from Dr. Yang and after preliminary discussions about my new job and where I currently worked, she told me she had a good feeling about me, plus Dr. Preston had vouched for me as Dr. Carver had vouched for me. She sent me a link to see pictures of the actual apartment and the neighborhood. I was impressed; it was a spacious 1 bedroom apartment in a very quiet area which she said got very little traffic. It had beautiful cherry mahogany floors and huge bay windows that let in a lot of light. I asked her if the walls were thick and there was a big pause after I asked. "Uh, why?" She asked hesitantly. Realizing that she was probably wondering if I was some sort of sex fiend who screamed during sex, or partied till all hours with music blasting, I laughed and assured her it was because I played the piano and was wondering if I should bring it or if it would disturb my neighbors. She let out a heavy and dramatic fake sigh of relief and said that the piano would not be a problem as she had been playing the violin for the 8 years she had lived there with no complaints from her neighbors. We made arrangements for me to see the place when I came up that coming Saturday.

At Dr. Preston's insistence, I came to stay with him and his wife Diane for the weekend while I was in NY. There were a very nice couple and I liked them the minute I met them. They were in their fifties and with empty nest syndrome as their son and daughter were living halfway around the world. She and her husband were involved in charities and she was on the PTA at the school where she taught so that kept them busy. I met with Dr. Yang and we immediately hit it off and the apartment was even more spectacular in person. We agreed on the rent and terms and I signed the lease and received my keys that afternoon. That night, Jack and Diane made dinner and we stayed in and talked from one thing to another. I found out that he was on the Board of the Boys & Girls Club of America (BAGA) and told him that I had always wanted to volunteer. I asked his if they had a music program where I could volunteer to teach the piano. He said that yes, that would be wonderful and gave me the name of someone to contact for the club in Manhattan which was close to my job. I thanked him and Diane for their hospitality and went back to Forks secure in the knowledge that my move to New York was going to be the best decision I had ever made.

Over the next week and a half, I packed up my things and shipped them off to my new place in New York with Dr. Yang – Chrissie – ensuring that they were safely deposited by the movers. I decided to sell my car; it had too many ties to the past, I really wouldn't need it in NYC and I really didn't want to deal with the nightmare of parking on the streets. I had a farewell dinner with my family the week before I was due to start the new job. It was tearful and sad because I think everyone could sense that I was never going to be returning to Forks to be a part of their lives. Nothing was going to be like it was. After dinner, in the privacy of Carlisle's study my parents insisted on giving me a 'housewarming present' which was the same as they had given Emmett and Alice when they had started their lives only in their cases it had been a wedding present. It was the cash from a fund that they had started, one for each of the 3 of us, when we were born, to help us in the transition from single person to couple. I was touched and saddened by it; this would have been the hefty down-payment on a place for me and Bella.

My Mom and Dad insisted on flying up with me that Thursday night to make sure make sure that I was all settled in. I let them. I was their first born and it was hard for them to know that I would be so far away. Jack and Diane invited us over for dinner and the four of them got along very well as they all had so much in common. My parents thanked them for being so hospitable and gracious to their son and I know that it put their minds at ease that I had already made a few friends in the 'big scary city'. My Mom put her decorating skills to work and with a minimal of fuss she had my apartment set up as she called it 'bachelor chic'. My father and I just laughed and rolled our eyes at that description; she knew that I liked dark wood, simple clean lines in black leather and an overall minimalistic feel. She'd been helping me select and buy the furniture online and having it shipped. At the end of their two day visit I could see that they were sad, but happy and proud as well as they walked to the terminal at JFK for the flight back to Seattle and Forks. That night, as I sat in my empty apartment, I finally let my emotions come to the fore and I cried for the first time in as long as I could remember. I cried for the death of a relationship that I thought would last a lifetime. I cried for the woman who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, but who instead broke my heart. I cried for the fact that I would be alone for the rest of my life. I cried for the fact that I would be away from my family. I cried for the fact that I would miss my nephews and miss the birth of my niece. After the emotional catharsis, I realized that the pain of the losses in my life would gradually ease. I had a lot to look forward to; a new job, a new city to explore and lose myself in, new colleagues to get to know and my new volunteer position on Saturdays as a Big Brother. As I played a quiet song on the piano, I realized that I would heal even though I had vowed to never love again.


	2. Settling In

CSI: NY /Twilight Crossover

Never Love Again – The Detective & The M.E.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any book or media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Summary: Fate has changed their lives forever but will they ever allow themselves to love again? Contains Slash, OMCs and OFCs.

EPOV

The first day at my new job I arrived at 7a.m. to go through the orientation; first with HR filling out paperwork, then with the Head of my Department learning the workings of the morgue and then with Mac Taylor the head of the Crime Lab. The day moved quickly and soon I was up to my elbows in a DB (Dead Body), the vic (victim) of a suspected homicide. The morgue was quiet just the way I liked it and they had very sophisticated equipment, some of which I was unfamiliar but was eager to learn and test out. I had already made a friend in Dr. Sheldon Hawkes, who had been the M.E. prior to Sid, and he said that he would be glad to help me out getting familiar with the new equipment. I had been talking to Sheldon and Mac about preliminary results on the DB when _he _walked in. He was tall, with thick dark hair and blue eyes the color of sapphires. He was dressed in a suit and tie and came in carrying a small leather notebook.

When Mac saw him he introduced him as Detective Donald Flack; I gave him a brief smile and then shook his hand. When our hands touched, I felt as if a spark of electricity had passed through my body. The Detective must have felt it too as I felt him tense, and I quickly dropped his hand after murmuring that it was nice to meet him. I quickly finished up with Mac and Sheldon and they left the morgue.

I then turned to him and inquired, "So Detective Flack, what can I help you with?"

"You can call me Flack Dr. Cullen, and I'm here for the results of the homicide from the alley last night, he glanced at his notebook, Sally Garber."

"You can call me Cullen, Flack and the COD was strangulation", I replied. I motioned to the flat screen monitor mounted on the wall and pointed out the ligature marks around the neck and the signs of petechial hemorrhaging in the eyes. He thanked me and welcomed me to the Team and then turned and exited the morgue.

The rest of the day was spent completing reports and performing another autopsy. At the end of my shift, I cleaned up my lab and made sure that it was presentable for the night shift M.E. As I was leaving for the day, I ran into Mac and his second in command Stella Bonasera. He introduced me to her and asked how my first day had gone. I told him that it was just as fascinating as I thought it would be. He laughed and I wished them a good night and exited the building and made my way to the subway and home to Brooklyn. The night was spent cooking a small meal and then watching a showing of Casablanca on AMC.

The rest of my week passed in a similar fashion and slowly I met the rest of the CSIs; they were all very fascinating people. The hectic pace and constant interruptions in the lab took some getting used to, but I had brought my IPod/speaker dock in and I always had piano concertos playing in the back ground. This helped to center me and keep me calm and focused. That Friday night as I was getting ready to leave, one of the CSIs, Lindsay, came in and invited me to go out with the team for a drink at a nearby bar. I told her that I already had plans, thanked her for thinking to include me and wished her a good night before turning away and walking to the elevator. Just then my phone rang.

"Hi Di." I greeted the woman who was quickly becoming my surrogate mother. I laughed as she asked me what type of ice cream I preferred Vanilla or Chocolate. I told her chocolate and then when she asked me what my favorite ice cream was, I laughed again and then answered that it was actually a tossup between Ben & Jerry's Dublin Mudslide and Cherry Garcia. She squealed and told me that Cherry Garcia was her all time favorite ice cream.

I moaned, "Ah, you're breaking my heart, love, are we having that for desert then?" I asked eagerly. She replied yes, and that we would leave Jack to his boring old 'Vanilla Bean'. I laughed again, I asked her if there was anything she needed me to pick up and she said no, just hurry up and get there. I laughed again, she reminded me so much of my Mom.

"Bye love, I'll see you in about 30 minutes". As I hung up my phone still smiling, I sensed that there was someone standing behind me and turned to see Mac, Stella, Sheldon, Lindsay, Flack and another man I had not yet met standing behind me.

He laughed and said "Wow, the new guy's not even here a week yet and already he's got a hot date on a Friday night! You got to tell me your secret!". I blushed and laughed at his bluntness and everyone else laughed as well as we all crowded on to the elevator where he introduced himself as Danny Messer.

The ride down was spent in companionable silence and we all parted ways in the lobby, with Danny yelling back to me, "Hey, you have a good night, Cullen!"

"Oh, you bet I will Messer." I yelled back as everyone laughed. Before I turned I saw Danny throw his arm around Flack's shoulders and begin talking animatedly as they took off after the others. I realize if what Danny said was any indication that they had all probably heard my conversation with Di and thought that I was talking to a girlfriend. I decided not to dispute that and that it would make me 'off limits' to anyone who might have been interested in either dating me or setting me up with someone. I picked up a bouquet of yellow roses for Di and hopped on the subway.

Jack and Diane had asked if I would do dinner with them every other Friday night, and to tell the truth I think it was just as much for them as it was for me. It worked out well. I told Jack how the week had gone work wise while Di was interested in the people. I told her about the people I had met so far, I told them that I was really looking forward to starting at the Boys & Girls Club the next day and Jack was so excited about having me join the music program that he was going to give me the tour himself tomorrow. I ended the night with Jack and Di around 9p.m. and made it back to my place before 10p.m. I fell asleep eager to see what tomorrow brought.

The next morning as Jack gave me a tour of the Club and introduced me to other volunteers and program leaders I realized what an important and necessary function a place like this served and I was eager to be a part of it and donate my time to these kids. We were walking around the grounds when a young girl about 7 or 8 ran over to us.

'Hi Dr. Jack." she said to Jack while hugging his legs.

"Hi Chérie!" he laughed and hugged her back. "This is my friend Edward." He said motioning to me.

"Are you a doctor too?" she asked looking up at me at me and smiling. Her front teeth were missing; she was so cute.

"Yup." I said, lowering myself to her height.

"Okay then I'll call you Dr. Ed, is that okay?" she asked opening her eyes widely; they were a caramel color.

"Yes, that's okay." I replied.

She then stuck out her hand for me to shake, "Nice to meet you Dr. Ed, I'm 7 years old and my name is Chérie, not like the fruit, it's French and it means Darling." She shared proudly.

"Nice to meet you Chérie," I said using the correct French pronunciation of her name while shaking her hand.

"Yes, that's how my Mommy and Daddy say it!" she said excitedly. I stood up and she continued to hold my hand as Jack and I resumed our walk. "Your hair's a funny color, it's like a penny that's not so new anymore." I laughed at that. So many people had tried to come up with a way to describe the color of my hair and hearing this innocent's 7 year old's spot on description was hilarious.

"What are you going to be doing here?" She asked.

"Dr. Ed is going to be teaching children to play the piano." Jack said. Chérie stopped and looked at us with her eyes as big as saucers.

"I love the piano." She said in a voice of awe. "Can you teach me? My Grammy has an old piano and she taught me to play Chopsticks and Mary had a little lamb, but she doesn't see so good now so we don't play anymore." Jack and I looked at each other and I could see that I was going to be as wrapped around this little girl's fingers as he apparently already was. As there weren't that many kids in the music program I would definitely be able to teach this eager little one.

At the nod from Jack, I turned to her and said "Yes, I can, if your parents say it's okay we can do it an evening after school." She had already started jumping up and down before the word 'Yes' had been fully out of my mouth and now she was doing that high-pitched scream that all women seemed to be able to manufacture when they were really excited about something. She then started hugging my legs; she was so excited. I threw my head back and roared with laughter while hugging her back.

She then ran to Jack and hugged him as well and then started running in circles around us while chanting "I'm playing piano, I'm playing piano." Jack and I continued to laugh at her happiness. I noticed that we had the attention of people in the surrounding area who had heard Chérie's scream and our resulting laughter. She grasped me and Jack by our hands and began dragging us back to the building so that we could 'meet the piano.' Yep, I hadn't known this little girl 15 minutes yet and already I was captivated. Jack and I smiled over her head. This was what it was all about.

I stayed for the rest of the morning and into the afternoon, getting my paperwork signed, making small-talk with some of the other volunteers and mostly just being dragged around by Chérie as she introduced me to all her friends as 'Dr. Edward my Big Brother who's teaching me to play piano'. Dr. Jack introduced me to her parents; a lovely couple who you could tell adored their little 'Darling'. They agreed to the piano lessons and we agreed to Thursdays as being the day she would have lessons. We made arrangements for me to pick her up from school and bring her to the club for the lessons and then spend time with her afterwards before bringing her home.

We exchanged contact information and then we parted ways with Chérie yelling, "Bye Dr. Jack, see you on Thursday Dr. Ed." We waved goodbye to her and laughed again at her enthusiasm. Jack told me a little about her parents, they were in their early thirties, she was a teller at a bank and the husband was a programmer for a financial company. They had moved to NYC about 3 years ago and as soon as she was of age they had enrolled Chérie in the club. The club served as a baby sitter for them for the hours between when school finished and they got off work with the advantage of Chérie being intellectually stimulated during that time. They had no family in the area, so the BAGC was a godsend for them. After parting ways with Jack, I explored the city for the next few hours, finding a bookstore to pick up Vince Flynn's latest book – Mitch Rapp is my personal kick ass hero! When I returned to Brooklyn, I did some food shopping, visited my new favorite bakery that made the best French Roast coffee as well as raisin scones and returned home feeling happy and fulfilled late in the evening. I passed the rest of the weekend exploring, watching TV and talking to Di on the phone to ask her for suggestions on devising a lesson plan for the enthusiastic little girl I was going to be teaching.

When Monday rolled around, I took the time to tell Mac about my volunteering and my weekly commitment, I assured him that I would make up the 2 hours for the Thursdays on another day during the week, but he said it was not necessary. He also told me that it was a good thing I was doing volunteering and when I told her about Chérie and her enthusiasm to learn he chuckled.

"Looks like you're really excited about teaching her too, I think you're going to get a lot from volunteering as well." We both laughed at that. I also asked him if it was okay if I brought her to the lab one day, as she also had an interest in science and microscopes. He said sure and to just give him a heads up when I wanted to do it so that there was nothing in the labs that would be disturbing or upsetting to a 7 year old. I thanked him and went to the lab to start my day, Brahms playing softly in the background.

At 3 p.m. on Thursday, I changed into my favorite worn dark washed Jeans and a black X-Men logo T-over a long-sleeved gray T Shirt and left the lab to walk the few blocks to pick Chérie up at her school. I introduced myself to the teacher who was waiting for us and then we started walking the 5 blocks to the Club.

"Dr. Ed, can you show me where you work real quick, pwease?" Oh My God, she did the eye thing at me again, making them go really wide and round and innocent and irresistible. Yes. I was wrapped around her little finger. I told her that I would have to call my boss and get his permission. I called Mac, who laughed and said yes. I called her Mom to let her know about the detour and she laughed and said yes. I called the coordinator at the Club who also laughed and thanked me for calling. I know they were all laughing because they all knew that Chérie had already gotten me wrapped around her little finger. When we got to lab, I took her to Mac's office and introduced them.

As she had when she first met me she said, "Nice to meet you, I'm 7 years old and my name is Chérie, not like the fruit, it's French and it means Darling."

Mac got down to her level and said "Well, it's very nice to meet you Chérie. My name is Mac."

"Are you a doctor too like Dr. Ed, she asks motioning to me.

"No, I'm a Detective." He said

"You mean, like a police officer?" She asked awed.

"Yes."

"That sounds cool." She said and he looked at me and laughed. Yes, now he understood why I couldn't say no to her.

"Are you ready to go see what the inside of the lab looks likes and see your saliva under the microscope?" I asked her.

"Yeah!" she exclaimed and still holding my hand, she waved bye to Mac and we turned to leave his office. As we crossed the threshold, she turned back and yelled 'Bye Detective Mac".

He said, "Bye Chérie." and his laughter followed us all the way down the hall. In the lab, I put a lab coat and safety glasses on the both of us and then swabbed the inside of her cheek before wiping it on a slide and adding solution. I lifted her up to kneel on the stool so that she could assist me in positioning the slide. I then turned on the overhead flat screen monitor that showed what was on the slide so that she could really see it. She was fascinated.

"Ewww, it's moving." she said as we looked from the eyepiece to the screen.

"Yes, because everything in our body is alive."

"Cool." She said.

We cleaned up the lab and put away the coats and safety glasses and then made our way to the elevators. On the way, we ran into Mac and she ran up to him dragging me along and grabbed his hand and started telling him everything she had just done in the lab ending with 'my salvia is alive." I stifled a laugh as did Mac and then I told her we had to leave for her piano lesson.

She looked up at Mac and said, "Dr. Ed is my Big brother and he's teaching me piano today." With that the elevator dinged and she dragged me in while yelling, "Okay Bye Detective Mac, thanks for the lab!" I could hear Mac chuckling as the elevator doors closed.

Our little detour had taken about 20 minutes and by the time we got to the music room at the club Chérie was practically bursting. I let her sit at the piano and show me what she could do. She played Chopsticks and Mary had a little lamb far better than I thought she would. With her demonstration and by asking her a few questions I was able to gauge where to start her lessons. We spent the rest of the time acquainting her with the keys and learning about hand and finger placement.

When her parents came to collect her that evening, she launched herself at them and excitedly told them what we had done in the lab, her swimming saliva, about her friend 'Detective Mac' and then about the piano lesson.

"Daddy, I can play Chopsticks better now!" Her parents thanked me for everything and then Chérie hugged my legs and yelled "Bye Dr. Ed." as she was leaving. God, I think I already loved that kid!

That night I called my parents to give them an update on how everything was going. They were pleased to hear that I was settled into a routine at work and that I was enjoying exploring the city. They were glad that Jack and Diane were taking such a good care of their baby (Mom's words) and when I told them about what I was doing at the BAGC and about Chérie they agreed that I seemed to have found my calling.

The next day at work I was in a particularly good mood and got to go along to my first crime scene. I had been finishing up a report on a post I had finished a short while before when Mac popped his head in the lab and asked me if I was in the middle of something. I said no that I had just finished and he said, "Grab, you're gear, we've got a crime scene!" I grabbed my gear and swapped my lab coat for my jacket and we were off. It was a grisly murder in Central Park; a woman appeared to have been attacked while bird watching. When we arrived I saw Flack and Danny already there and nodded to them.

"Hey Romeo." Danny greeted me with a smile. I chuckled at him. I put my gloves and booties on and bent to perform a preliminary examination of the body, talking out loud as I spoke into my wireless headset which was linked to a recorder so that I can always refer back to my prelims from scenes when I was back in the lab. I confirmed that there were ligature marks around the neck after barely moving back the collar of her blouse to expose the area. I checked her eyes for signs of petechial hemorrhaging. I looked at her hands; there was bruising and defensive marks to suggest she put up quite a fight. I reached into my kit and took out 2 bags and placed her hands in them to secure/preserve any evidence she may have had on her hands that may have come from her attacker. I took my thermometer and pierced the skin and punctured the liver to determine liver temp to estimate time of death (TOD). I did the calculation in my head and then announced the TOD out loud. Looking back to her neck, I moved her collar back to look at the ligature marks again and suddenly I was struck by something.

I didn't realize I was biting my lip and staring until I heard someone next to me ask "What are you thinking? It was Mac and Flack was standing next to him.

I looked up at them from where I was crouched over the body and asked, "Where's the dog?"

"Uh, we found it over there in the bushes; its head was bashed on a rock." Flack answered soberly

I grimaced, that's an image I didn't need in my head. "I think he may have used the leash to strangle her. I can see little red fibers in the marks. Is the leash red?" Danny answered the question as he came over holding a box which I assumed held the body of the dog. He opened it and confirmed yes.

"Maybe the perp left behind some DNA." he said excitedly.

Mac looked at me. "Good catch Dr. Ed."

"Thanks Detective Mac." I replied before completing my prelim and motioning for my assistants to transport the body to the morgue. As I stepped away from the Crime Scene, I stopped and took another paper bag out of my kit, opened it, removed my booties and dropped them into it. I removed my sharpie and initialed, dated and time stamped the outside of the bag before handing it to Danny.

"Just in case I got any trace on them when I was examining the body." I said to him.

He nodded and I could see the others watching me with impressed looks on their faces. I climbed back into the SUV with Mac and we made our way back to the lab so that I could start the post. He asked me how yesterday had gone with Chérie and I told him how enthusiastic she was and how she was a quick study. Mac agreed and said that she seemed very intelligent. I told him that she told her parents about her 'friend Detective Mac' and he really seemed to get a kick out of that. When we returned to the lab, the rest of the day was spent doing the post of this latest vic and filing my report and results.

Later that evening, I was listening to Debussy in my office off the lab when I got a call from Jack. I put him on speakerphone as I was filing paperwork at the same time. He said he knew that it was last minute, but he was wondering if I was free tomorrow. I said yes and asked why. He told me that there was a field trip to the Bronx Zoo tomorrow and that a few of the volunteers had canceled at the last moment due to sickness and he was wondering if I could fill in and did I know anyone else who could help. He said that he and Di were already going to be there. I told him sure, I'd be happy to do it. He said great and that Chérie will be out of her mind when she heard that I was going to be coming. We both laughed at that. He asked me if I knew of anyone else. I paused for a moment and that's when I saw Mac motioning to me from the doorway of my office. He pointed to the phone and then pointed to himself and then nodded.

I nodded back to him and turned back to the phone and said. "Jack as a matter of fact I know just the person."

"Great!" he said and I could hear the relief in his voice.

I motioned for Mac to sit in the chair across my desk and then introduced him to Jack. Jack thanked him for volunteering and then gave us the details – meeting place and time, the number of kids we'd each be responsible for etc.

"So, what are we going to see?" I asked him excitedly; it would be my first trip to the world famous zoo.

"Tiger Mountain, Jungle World with the new lion cub Moxie and they'll get to attend both a Sea-Lion and a penguin feeding." He said, sharing my excitement.

We all agreed that it all sounded pretty cool. Jack told us to bring digital cameras if we had them, because they put the pictures all together and email them to the parents of each group afterwards. I hung up with Jack and then chatted with Mac about who Jack was and how I had met him and his wife. We talked about why Mac had come to find me in the first place and he said that it was to tell me that he was impressed with the way I handled myself at the crime scene that morning. I thanked him. He asked me about why I record myself at the crime scene and I told him it was a habit I got into back in Seattle, because I needed to have my hands free so a notebook was not practical and since it was easy to not remember things or mix things up when dealing with multiple crime scenes, I came up with that idea and bought it for myself and brought it with me when I moved as it was now second nature to me. He told me he thought it was a good idea. By then it was around 7p.m. and since we had to meet at the club tomorrow at 8a.m. we decided to call it a day. We went our separate after exiting the building after wishing each other a pleasant night.

The next morning dawned clear and bright and it was a great day to go to the zoo. When I got to the center I saw Jack and Di already there chatting with some of the parents.

I heard a squeal and then I heard my Chérie's "Dr. Ed!" before she barreled into me and started hugging my legs.

"Hello Chérie." I said, hugging her. I hugged and kissed Di and shook Jack's hand before waving to Chérie's parents Victorine and Marc.

Just then Mac arrived and as soon as she saw him there was another squeal and then "Hi Detective Mac." before he too was met with a leg hug. She grabbed his hand and walked over to where we were standing. "Mommy, Daddy, Dr. Jack, Nana Di, this is my friend, Dr. Ed's boss Detective Mac." We all laughed at the intricate and detailed introduction and Mac shook everyone's hand.

Once the parents had left, the volunteers were divided up amongst the children. Mac and I had 8 kids between the two of us, which obviously included Chérie. They had rented buses for the occasion and the counselors had the kids singing and playing games for the hour and a half long ride to the zoo. Mac and I found ourselves singing along to songs that we hadn't sung in many years.

The trip to the zoo was a blast and our kids had a fun time seeing the animals in their natural habitats. They especially liked the 'baby lion cub' and the sea-lions 'they don't really look like lions though', and feeding the sheep 'they smell stinky'. I had brought my camera and spent the day taking pictures of the kids with the animals or capturing their reactions to something an animal did. I got the cutest picture of Chérie petting the soft coat of a baby goat as she fed it grain. There was another one of Nana Di comforting her as she cried when we were leaving because she couldn't take him home with her. I knelt down in front of her and told her that the he was just a baby and he needed his mommy and daddy to look after him, but that she could come visit him another time when he was older, big and strong and that he was very happy here with all his other goat friends. She wiped her face and then threw her arms around my neck and hugged me. She then turned to the baby goat and petted him again and whispered something in his ear. I could swear from the look he gave her that he understood before he gamboled off to find his Mom. We had lunch in the outdoor picnic area and then went to the last stop for the day, the penguins. We all laughed at how cute they were and then watched as they sunned themselves on the rocks and then jumped into the water bobbing for fish. Their keepers fed them and answered all of the kids' questions about them until it was time for the penguins to leave. The kids (okay and all of us adults too) waved goodbye to them when they were led back into their dens. The kids then all started waddling around like penguins which prompted more picture taking by us and then everybody dissolved into laughter.

The ride back to the club was quiet as most of the kids were sleeping. Mac and I looked at each other and knew that this would be one of those days we wouldn't soon forget. We used the time to scroll through our combined 310 photos laughing at the funny faces the kids were making and awwing at the really cute faces (kids or animals). Mac suggested that we both bring the cameras into the lab tomorrow and we would put the photos together and then I could burn them onto DVDs and take them to Jack. When we arrived at the club the parents were all there and now that the kids were awake again all the excitement of the day was relived for their parents' benefit. You could tell that Cherie was very tired as she wasn't her usual effervescent self as she reached for her Daddy to pick her up.

She waved goodbye to us and said "Thank you for an awesome day and I'll see Percy next year." before promptly falling asleep on her father's shoulder.

When they walked away Jack asked "Who's Percy?"

"The baby goat she was crying after. She told him that she would come visit him next year when he was bigger and that she understood why she couldn't bring him home with her."

We helped the other volunteers tidy up the buses and make sure that any belongings were claimed. Nana Di kissed and hugged me good bye and she and Jack thanked Mac profusely for giving up his Saturday to spend with the kids at the zoo. He said it was no problem and that to feel free to contact him if they needed volunteers for anything else. He exchanged contact info with them and then he told them that I could also tell him about any new outings etc. We said our goodbyes to each other and then went our separate ways.

The rest of my weekend was spend at the MOMA and then wandering around the city taking pictures of famous places to email to my Mom and Alice who were both nuts about the architecture of NYC.

Monday morning we had an early call, another apparent strangling in a vacant lot off the FDR. After my cursory examinations, it appeared that this woman's injuries seemed to mirror the other vic's; ligature marks and petechia were both present. The dog was not found, but there was a leash, purple this time. I was wondering aloud in to the headset if we didn't have a Serial killer on our hands, possibly strangling the vics with the leashes of their own dogs. I made a comment to check the trace evidence's result of the first vic as, I did not remember there being any nylon fibers around or near her neck to indicate that a leash had been involved, nor had there been any sign of a dog. After we made it back to the lab, I started in on the post while Brahms' Symphony No. 1 in C Minor wafted from my IPod speakers. My COD and TODs nailed down; I finished the post and completed my report detailing my results and findings. I checked the computer and brought up the case-file of the first vic and then looked at all of the evidence collected. I was sifting through the evidence log and pictures when I made the connection, and at that moment, Flack walked into the lab.

"You looked like you were thinking pretty hard there, Cullen." I chuckled and told him that I had a theory and was taking a look at the evidence to see if it could be borne out. At that moment Mac walked in the lab.

"Can what be borne out?" he asks. He motioned to the camera in his hand and walked into my office and put it on my desk. I nodded to him in acknowledgement.

"I had a theory that we might be dealing with a serial killer/strangler. I just finished the post on this vic and the COD is consistent with the others. Also, I found fibers that I am sure will turn out to match the leash we found at the scene. I'm wondering if that isn't part of his MO, to look for a woman out alone walking a dog, attack her and then strangle her with the leash. I didn't remember seeing a leash in the evidence log of the first vic, or any fibers for trace, but I wanted to check the case-file to confirm. I also didn't remember reading anything about a dog. Now, I'm wondering if the dog took off when the man tried to grab it or when he grabbed his owner and the unsub had to improvise with what he used to strangle her. So, I pulled the photos that I took of the three vics' necks at post to compare the ligature marks and the first one is different from these last two." At that, I brought up the 3 images side by side on the flat screen and we all looked at them.

"Which one is different?" I asked them. Without hesitation they both said the middle one. "Yes, that's correct and that's the first vic." Mac picked up the phone next to the desk and called Danny to the lab.

When he came in, he nodded a hello to me and Flack and then Mac explained my theory, Danny looked at the pics and asked me, 'The middle one?" to which I nodded. We stared at the pictures soberly, a serial killer/strangler in NYC targeting women walking dogs. How sick was that? Danny indicated that he wanted to use the keyboard so I stepped to the side while he pulled up the files on the vics. He had determined from the pattern of the ligatures that the unsub was left handed and it was consistent for all three vics. Mac left the lab saying that he would be back, that he had to head upstairs and notify the brass that we may potentially have a serial killer/strangler on our hands. Before he was able to even exit the lab, our phones all started beeping to indicate a text message.

"Gear up boys, we got another one." Mac said, as I grabbed my gear, swapped jackets and left with the other three. The crime scene was in a secluded meadow off of a park on the Upper West Side. I noted the prelims were identical to the last 3 vics. The TOD put it at within the last 4 hours.

"This guy is escalating," Mac said, echoing my own thoughts. There was less and less time between each murder.

Danny came over with another box which presumably contained the body of the dead woman's dog and I asked, 'Green Leash?" he nodded solemnly. I nodded to the 2 technicians from my office that they could move the body. I wanted to get to the lab to do the post so that Mac would have the results of 4 vics and all associated evidence so that he could present to the brass to convince them that it was a serial killer.

By late afternoon, I had completed the post and handed off my results and findings to Mac. I wandered into the break room for another cup of coffee – Mmmm French Roast- retrieved my tuna sandwiches from the fridge and went back to my office to eat. As I was finishing my sandwich, my office phone rang and I saw the '360' area code and realized that it was my mother's cell phone.

"Hi Mom." I said

"Hi Sweetie, Ali had her baby! Not even 5 minutes ago, and Sweetie, she's so pretty and she has a full head of hair, just like Ali did when she was born." She gushed happily. I laughed at my mother's enthusiasm. She was thrilled at her first grand-daughter. I was thrilled too, my first niece!

"Tell her I said congratulations and that I am proud of her and that I will forever call her Little Mama! Tell Jazz I said congrats too. So I know Dad is there taking pictures can you tell him to send a few to my email."

"Hold on sweetie, I'm putting it on speakerphone so everyone can hear you." she says.

"Hi Son, I just sent you a few pics at work, I hope you don't mind." enthused my dad.

I discarded the foil from my sandwiches and navigated to my email. I opened the file and there was a picture of my sister looking hella tired with her baby wrapped in her arms and Jazz smiling down at the two of them.

"Awww, she's cute!!" I said, and then I looked at another pic of her where she was quite obviously wailing. "Wow, that second pic looks just like Ali when you brought her home from the hospital."

I talked to them for a while, assured them that I was doing well, yes Mom I'm eating properly, yes Dad, I lock all my doors at night. No, Emmett I was not 'dating' (his emphasis not mine) a supermodel as yet! I told my Mom to kiss Alice and the baby, whose name they decided would be Ariel (yes, after the little Mermaid, Alice has been obsessed with that name ever since she first watched the movie when we were kids). She said that one day when I had a son, I should name him Sebastian! To which I would always ssay that I was not going to name my son after a crab! We ended our call with a bunch of I love you's and I miss you's and congratulations. I looked up to see Mac standing in my door way, this guy is très silent and stealthy, yes?

"Call from home?" he asked pleasantly.

"Yeah, my sister had her baby like 15 minutes ago so they called to tell me and to share the photos with me." I swiveled the PC flat screen monitor so that he could see the pics as I identified who was who in my family.

I took a sip of my coffee and asked him, "So, what did the brass think?"

"They agree with our assessment that it's a serial killer." He said

"What do we do about the fact that the Unsub seems to escalating between kills?" I asked

"That, I don't know, I'm thinking that we should warn the public, but that could just enrage him and make him escalate more. He may get sloppy and leave us some DNA, or someone may injure him. Or, it may just cause him to retreat and de-escalate for a period of time until everyone goes back to normal and then strike again at a later date. The brass are going to make the call on that after meeting with their profilers to get a more accurate assessment of what type of perp we're dealing with." He sighed. We were dealing with a truly evil person who was quite literally preying on the innocent.

We decided to work on the zoo pictures then to lighten our mood and since we now had the time. We took the cameras from my office and into the lab where we plugged them into a laptop. We had a good time looking at and laughing at the pictures seeing them blown up on the flat screen. We could not believe that we had taken over 300 pictures of 8 kids. There were great pictures, there was one where a goat was chasing one of the kids Josh and trying to bite him in the ass. There was one that Mac had taken of me and Cherie when she was crying and I was trying to explain that 'Percy' was too young to go home with her.

"You're good with kids." he said.

"So are you." I agreed, indicating a picture I had taken of him lifting a tiny little girl Daphne (who had clung to him the entire trip) onto his shoulders so she could see the penguins. You could see the joy in her eyes as she pointed at the baby penguins in the shot while the other hand was grabbing tightly to Mac's head.

"They're good kids." He said smiling softly.

We worked on getting them ordered so that they could all tell a story and then actually numbered them. I then got all the ones with either myself, Mac, Jack or Nana Di with Cherie and made copies of them so that I could burn them to a DVD and give them to her parents separately.

Mac snickered when he realized what I was doing and I said "What kind of Big Brother would I be if I didn't do this?" We chuckled when I made 3 copies and handed him one. I printed out 2 of the pictures to put in frames on the credenza there in my office and one for my night stand at home. I also made a DVD of all pictures with him and Daphne and gave that to him; this time I was the one snickering.

The next day the brass made the decision to warn the public about the existence of a potential serial strangler and for people to be on their guard. We did not release the information about the dogs or about the women being strangled by their dogs' leashes.

After the announcement was made, true to Mac's prediction, the unsub completely de-escalated and there was nothing for almost 3 weeks. We went on with life, other DBs came in and I did routine posts.

I continued my lessons with Cherie who was learning and improving very quickly; she was like a sponge just soaking up everything I taught her.

I flew home for a weekend to surprise Alice and see my niece. I didn't tell anyone I was coming I just showed up at the house Friday evening for dinner like I normally would. My mother screamed when she opened the door and saw me and threw herself at me. I laughed and hugged her and then was mauled by the rest of the family. When I finally met my niece it was love at first sight; she was so angelic looking and then she smiled at me and that was it. I was wrapped around another girl's little finger. Dinner was great and it was good to catch us with everyone and roughhouse with my nephews in the living room, with Rose and Mom yelling at us to 'mind the coffee table'. Ah just like old times. I had a good time, but by Sunday morning, I was anxious to leave, I just didn't fit in here anymore. Emmett drove me to the airport and he said that I looked good, happier than he had seen me in a long time. He was right, I was happy and content. I had a great job, I had a great apartment, I was making friends at work, I had wonderful surrogate parents in Jack and Diane and I had the BAGC and Cherie. Yes, I was happy and content.

When I was at JFK, walking to hail a cab, I got a text from Mac; 'He's struck again.' I called him and told him where I was and he said that he would bring my kit and I could meet them there as it was a bit of a drive for them as well. He gave me an address and the cab dropped me and my overnight off at the scene 40 minutes later. I hauled my bag into the back of Mac's SUV, grabbed my kit and got to work. As I walked to the group, I saw the looks of surprise thrown my way; yes, Edward Cullen when he's off the clock looks very different from Dr. Edward Cullen M.E. My daily uniform was black dress pants with a dress shirt, running the gamut of all colors of the rainbow with a tie in the same color palette. Today, as it was the weekend and I was travelling and needed to be comfortable, I was dressed like a punk rocker. Black Batman logo T-shirt that was a size too small and was completely faded and showed off my muscular chest, arms and back? Check. Black low slung jeans? Check. Vans black on black checkered, so battered (read perfectly broken in) that my mother has been trying to throw them out for the last two years? Check. Leather wrist cuff with our family crest? Check. My hair completely uncombed, unruly, 'bed-headish' and sticking up every which way? Check. Top gun aviator shades? Check.

As I made my way over to Mac and the others, he said "So?" and smiled.

I chuckled "What can I tell you, she's beautiful and I'm in love." He laughed as I said hellos to Danny, Flack, Sheldon and Stella, tried to pretend they weren't staring at me and suited up to do my job. As soon as I saw the angle of the neck, I immediately knew something was wrong.

"Hey, Detective Mac." I called. He bootied and gloved up and came over to crouch next to me. I showed him what had caught my eye, "Look at the neck. I think it's broken and there are no ligature marks, these are handprints." I moved her hair aside so that we could see her exposed neck area.

"Shit." He said.

"So this is either a coincidence, a copycat, or the Unsub is taunting us now by changing his M.O." I said

"This is going to piss of the profilers."Mac said solemnly.

I finished up my prelim before nodding to the Technicians to remove the body. Once we made it back to the office I retrieved my weekend bag from the back of the SUV and booked it into the lab. Once I suited up and turned on my IPod to Brahms Variations on a Theme by Paganini I began the post. I sensed someone come in, looked up and acknowledged Flack who pointed to the couch in the lounge outside my office and then sat down. Sometime later when I was finished the post and putting together my report and findings I took a deep breath and stretched. I was exhausted; I hate travelling for this very reason, it throws my body completely off. I think tonight I will go for a quick run to relieve the stress and get some endorphins flowing. I washed up and I turned to the couch to discuss my finding with Flack and found him and Mac asleep leaning into the separate corners of the sofa.

"Hey guys, I'm done." I said to them.

They woke yawning and I went over the findings with them; the woman had been choked to death by a left-handed male; the hyoid bone was fractured which was consistent for strangulation or in this case – throttling. It appears that he sat on her chest and choked her to death. Danny, Stella and Lindsay came in a few minutes later and I listened to them go over the evidence they had collected.

My cell phone started ringing, the clear voice of the great Barry Manilow singing with full orchestra, "I feel glad when you're glad and I feel sad when you're glad, If you only knew what I'm going through, I just can't smile without you." I excused myself and ducked into my office to answer.

"Hi Mom. Yes, I got in a few hours ago, sorry I didn't call; I got called into work when I touched down. I'm sorry I made you worry. No, I haven't eaten anything yet. I will, Mom. I'm going home soon and then I'll make something and eat. Yes, send me the pic. Okay, I love you too." I turned back to the room, yawning widely to see the others watching me and smiling.

Flack chuckled and said "Mama's boy."

I laughed out loud and smiled at him, "And damned proud of it. She was worried because I didn't call when I was supposed to, she thought the plane crashed but she didn't see a report on CNN, so she figured I just got sidetracked." Just then, my phone chirped and there was the picture of my niece.

I turned the phone to Mac, who said, "Wow, Ariel's really growing and she's got a lot of hair!"

"Same as my sister, I remember the day my parent brought her home from the hospital; she was this little red thing with this big head of black hair." I showed the others the pic and there was a general awing. We decided to call it a night and we all headed out of the building.

I started hailing a cab, when Danny asked, "Hey Romeo, where do you live?"

"I live in Brooklyn Heights, why?" I answered.

Flack turned to me and said, "I'm in the heights too, I can give you a ride."

"I'd appreciate that."I said thankfully, as I had not been looking forward to being on the subway and had just made the decision to take a cab. We parted ways with the others and walked to his car. I threw my weekender in the back seat and buckled into the passenger seat.

"Long day?" He commiserated.

"Yeah, long weekend period; 6 hour fight to Seattle Friday evening, spend a full day with the family on Saturday catching up and then back to the airport this morning for the return 6 hour flight and then a couple of hours of work; so yeah." I chuckle.

I gave him my address and he chuckled, "I live two streets over from you." he said.

"So you live near 'The Bakery?' I asked.

"Right around the corner from it." he said

"I discovered that place the first day I moved here, they have the best French Roast coffee and the best raisin scones! I always end up going there after my run. In fact, I'm going to go there after my run tonight, just for a scone."

He looked at his watch and said, "I hate to tell you this, but I think that place may be closed by the time you get in and come back out. Why don't we swing by now and get it?" I wasn't going to argue with that logic, plus my body was telling me louder and louder that it did not want to move again once it entered the house.

"That sounds like a good idea, because I don't think I'm going to come back out if I go in the house right now." I agreed. We double-parked in front of 'the Bakery' and luckily it was still open.

When we walked in Rosmerta greeted us, "Ah my favorite boys together." and she kissed each of us on the cheek. "Ah for you with the Emerald eyes a raisin scone and for you with the Sapphire eyes a blueberry muffin." We each nod and we get our baked goods, which she says are on the house, we thank her and wish her a good night, exit and head back to the car. Flack points out his building to me and it looks almost identical to mine. We pull away from the curb and within a few minutes we are pulling up in front of my building. I thank him for the ride, grab my weekender and hop out of the car and wish him a good night.

"You too, and enjoy your scone." He replies. I chuckle and tell him to enjoy his muffin. I can hear him laughing as he drives off. I enter my apartment and exhaustion almost overcomes me. I strip, throw my clothes in the hamper, empty my weekender and throw those clothes in the hamper as well, before placing a dryer sheet in the bottom of the bag, zipping it and returning it to the back of my closet. I put the kettle on and head to the bathroom to take a quick shower to get the travel grime off me. By the time I finish, I feel like a whole new person. I towel dry and pull on a pair of sleep pants and a T-Shirt. I make a huge mug of chamomile tea and put my scone in the microwave for 20 seconds, enough to get it back to that 'just came out of the oven' consistency. I turn my alarm back on and then set my clothes out for the next day, and decide on an emerald green (to match my eyes, Gah Rosmerta must be rubbing off on me) dress shirt and tie. I check to make sure that my messenger briefcase is packed and then I drink my tea and enjoy the heck out of my raisin scone. By the time I am done, it is almost 11p.m. and I crawl into bed. The last thing I think of is a man with dark hair and Sapphire blue eyes.


	3. Let The Healing Begin:One Day At A Time

CSI: NY /Twilight Crossover

Never Love Again – The Detective & The M.E.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any book or media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Summary: Fate has changed their lives forever but will they ever allow themselves to love again? Contains Slash, OMCs and OFCs.

DPOV

Today is going to be a good day. That has been the mantra that I recite every morning when I awaken. As my therapist has told me, time will help ease my grief and heal my broken heart. I remember scoffing at this the first time he said that to me. What a cliché! What would you know, he was right. It has been almost 7 months since the day my angel Jess went to heaven and my life changed forever. Those first few days I could barely cope. If it had not been for my best friend Danny, my sanity would have been lost. The nights were the hardest though. Our bed was lonely, cold and empty and I was surrounded by her scent. Up until the funeral, I tried to trick my mind into believing that she was away on a case or visiting non-existent relatives. The night of the funeral though, there was no doubt that she was gone from me forever. Danny hadn't wanted to leave by myself; he didn't want me to do something stupid. I thought about it too. I couldn't eat my gun, because I knew that Jess would be so disappointed in me. I thought of slashing my wrists, too messy I decided. I wouldn't want to give Mac, Danny and the rest of their Team the guilt of handling all of my blood when they were called to the scene. That night I decided to take an overdose of sleeping pills. I had the pills in one hand and a bottle of Dimple Pinch Scotch Whiskey in the other but I was crying so hard that my hands were shaking and I couldn't even force the pills in my mouth or force the bottle to my lips. I cried for the woman who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, but who instead had been taken from me. I cried for the death of a relationship that I thought would last a lifetime. I cried for the fact that I would be alone for the rest of my life. I cried for the children that we had talked about having and now would never have; little Donnie Jr. and little Vanessa. I cried for the death of a life that being with her made me crave so badly. I lay on the carpet by the side of the bed and wailed. My heart was breaking. I was broken. How would I ever be whole again? No matter what, I knew that I could not take my life. That is not want Jess would want of me.

I fell asleep on the floor surrounded by pills, a spilled bottle of whiskey, clutching the picture of the woman I loved.

The next thing I recalled was being shaken awake. The sun was streaming in through the windows and I was lying on the sofa under a blanket. I looked up to see Danny standing over me holding out a cup of coffee for me to take. I took the cup, sat up and put my feet on the floor and begun to drink the coffee.

Danny knelt in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye and said, "One day at a time, Don, one day at a time, and remember that you are not alone. I will be here for you."

I nodded blindly at him as the tears began to fall again; sobs wracking my body. He took the coffee from me and held me as I cried. After the emotional catharsis, Danny told me that the pain I felt now would eventually ease. He told me that he knew someone that I could talk to. Someone that had helped him deal with the loss of Aiden and later Reuben. He told me that he had made an appointment for me for early that afternoon. I finished the rest of my coffee and then Danny brought over a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon. I finished eating quickly; I didn't realize how ravenous I had been. After a while, Danny told me go take a shower so that we could make it to the appointment on time. When I entered the bedroom all evidence of last night's lapse in judgment was gone. There were no pills strewn on the floor. There was no spilled bottle of whiskey. The only way that I knew what I had done last night was because Jess' picture was not on the nightstand where I usually put it; it was on the pillow of my neatly made bed.

I knew I was very lucky to have a friend like Danny. I showered and dressed in a dim fog. When I entered the living room, I asked Danny to tell me what had happened last night. He told me that he had called last night and that when I didn't answer he came over and used his key to get in. When he saw me, he realized that I hadn't gone through with anything and he cleaned me up and got me settled on the sofa and let me sleep. He tidied up the room because he didn't want me to wake up surrounded by the evidence of a misguided decision. He sat and watched over me until this morning when he made breakfast. I nodded at him, because how can you put the words together to thank your best friend for saving your life and your sanity? We left the apartment and Danny drove me to this place in the Cobble Hill section of Brooklyn. It was a nice brownstone on a nice quiet street. We entered through the basement into a welcoming, simply furnished waiting room and sat. A few minutes later a man entered and Danny stood up to greet him.

"Hello Dr. Sloan." He greeted the middle aged man.

Turning to me, he held out his hand for me to shake. I took it and he said, "You must be Donald."

"Don." I nodded; it was the most that I could get out. He motioned for me to precede him through an open door and I looked back to Danny. He nodded with a comforting smile.

"I'll be right here waiting for you, Don." I nodded and entered the room. That was, even though I didn't know it then, the first day of my journey of healing.

When I went back to work after my two weeks of compassionate leave, I was a changed man. I had been changed forever by my angel's passing, how could I not be? It felt like fate was telling me something; the one time I had opened myself and my heart to a woman, fate had stepped in and taken her and all our dreams from me. I knew that I could never put my heart out there again; I couldn't risk hurting someone else or being hurt again. What could hurt worse than losing the love of my life? I accepted the fact that I would be alone for the rest of my life. I retreated into myself. Cut myself off from friends and family and threw myself into the one thing I still had – my job. I did my job with the same efficiency, but I was cold and emotionless. I pulled overtime and I took the shifts that nobody wanted. I didn't laugh, I barely cracked a smile. The only constant in my life was Danny. He was there when I needed him and there when I didn't think I did. On Saturdays we still played basketball at the Y together and we still volunteered as Big Brothers at the Boys & Girls Club.

I have been coming to see Dr. Sloan every Thursday for almost 7 months now. For the first month Danny had accompanied me to my sessions every Thursday evening after work, unasked. I was glad for the moral support. The first day in Dr. Sloan's office all I call do was weep for my angel and what we had both lost. Then I felt weak for blubbering like a child, but Dr. Sloan assured me that this was part of the grieving process and that I should not be ashamed. With each subsequent visit he helped me to deal with my grief and to talk through what she meant to me. What I also finally admitted to myself was that I was powerless to change what happened. She was gone and I had to come to terms with that, I had to move forward; my life had to go on. Gradually, just like Danny and Dr. Sloan had said, the pain of Jess' passing eased. I made a promise in my heart that I would never forget her, but day by day the crippling pain I felt in my chest when I thought about her eased to a dull ache. I agonized over it, but I made the decision to move out of my apartment. There were too many memories here, she had basically moved in with me and this was the apartment that we were going to live in after we were married. Thanks to Dr. Sloan, I found a beautiful, large one bedroom apartment in Brooklyn Heights – a nice quiet neighborhood where nobody knew me, or knew about Jess. It was a fresh start. Dr. Sloan helped me walk through my feelings of guilt at leaving Jess behind in the old apartment; he assured me that the memories and feelings that I treasured would be in my heart forever and I was not abandoning her. Danny helped me with the move; he helped sort through Jess' belongings and went with me to the Goodwill to drop off the donations. I kept a box of her things, things that I could not bear to part with; her hairbrush, her perfume, her Hello Kitty blanket that she always snuggled up in when we were watching TV on the couch, her pen and pad that she kept on her nightstand for when we got night calls, the jewelry that she was wearing that day and her favorite leather jacket that fit her like a second skin. I labeled the box 'My Angel' and put it at the back of my new closet.

I got into new routines; exploring my new neighborhood, going into the city and walking around areas where I had never ventured before. I went to museums, and I spent a lot of time in bookstores. I had never had the time or the inclination before, but now that I had all of this time on my hands, a new hobby was just the thing. I found an author that I liked, Brad Thor, whose hero Scot Harvath was a tough as nails, no bullshit former Navy Seal who was sworn to protect and defend his country. The writing was engaging and completely enthralling and it was good to escape into another world for a few hours. I finally gave in and read all 7 of the Harry Potter books after seeing the first one at Danny's apartment. He told me that it had belonged to Reuben who had convinced Danny to read it. He had and ended up liking the book so much he bought the set. He lent them to me and I ended up loving them too and buying a set for myself. I ran every night after work; it helped clear my mind from the day and it made the endorphins flow and made me sleep a full 8 hours every night. I didn't go out anymore; only the occasional quick drink or dinner with Mac and the Team once a month.

A few months after Jess' death, Sid the M.E. retired to spend more time with his family as he felt that he was missing out on too much of his teenage daughter's life and neglecting his wife. I suspect that Sid was tired of dealing with the dead and wanted to spend his time with his living loved ones. Mac, with Sheldon's input had been searching, high and low for a new M.E. for the day shift for weeks and then Mac got a submission from a guy in Seattle. The interviews went well and they offered the guy the job. His name was Edward Cullen and he seemed like a pretty reserved, quiet guy. He kept to himself and ate in his office in the back of the lab. The girls, and some of the guys too, were apparently very interested in him, they thought he was 'dreamy', 'doable' and 'delicious' according to the snippets of gossip I heard when I came onto their floor or wandered into the break-room. I felt like I was back in high-school again, 'Dear Diary, Edward Cullen is so dreamy and doable and oh so delicious!' Christ you wouldn't believe that these people were all adults. I was in the break-room reading the Times one afternoon when Cullen came in, he looked at me and we did the bro nod and he acknowledged the others in the room before he walked over and filled his mug with coffee and then left presumably back to his office. I swear as soon as he left Stella and Lindsay started to _giggle and whisper. _I could not believe it then I heard then talking about how nicely he was dressed and when they started to talk about his various _attributes _I took that as my cue to leave. I'd seen him at crime scenes and we were all impressed with how well he handled himself. In the field he was careful of the crime scene and his prelims were quick and to the point. In the lab he was efficient and thorough. He was an analytical thinker and helped make the connection on the strangling homicides which had begun occurring. One thing that I noticed was that he spoke 'profiler language'; he called a suspect/perp an unsub (unknown subject) and he used terms like escalating and de-escalating. I wonder if he had any Quantico training. So far nobody knew anything about him except for the fact that he was from Seattle and didn't really talk that much and liked to listen to piano concertos while he performed his autopsies.

One particular Friday night the others decided that we should go out for a quick drink at a nearby bar. Lindsay was voted the person to go invite 'Dr. Hottie' as they referred to him (accompanied by giggling). When she came back to us in the break room you could tell from the disappointment on her face that she had been turned down. For some strange reason this made me laugh to myself.

"He said, thanks for thinking to include him, but that he already had plans." She informed us glumly.

We left the break room and walked to the elevator where the man in question was smiling and talking on his cell. We couldn't help but hear his side of the conversation due to our close proximity to him while we were all waiting for the elevator to arrive.

"Hi Di." He laughed and then said "Chocolate. Actually it's a tossup between Ben & Jerry's Dublin Mudslide and Cherry Garcia." He moaned and then said, "Ah, you're breaking my heart, love are we having that for desert then?" and laughed again. "Is there anything you need me to pick up?" He laughed again before saying, "Bye love, I'll see you in about 30 minutes".

When he hung up the phone he was still smiling and must have sensed that there was someone standing behind him because he turned to face us.

Danny took that opportunity to say, "Wow, the new guy's not even here a week yet and already he's got a hot date on a Friday night! You got to tell me your secret!" Cullen blushed and laughed and we all couldn't help but join in as he and Danny introduced themselves.

When we got to the lobby we parted ways with Danny yelling back to him "Hey, you have a good night, Cullen!"

"Oh, you bet I will Messer." he yelled back as everyone laughed. He was a good sport. I could see the glum looks on some faces now that they realize that 'Dr. Hottie' (wow, misogynistic, much?) was off the market. Strangely that made me very happy! Treating the man like a piece of new meat!

Over the next couple of weeks, we were able to determine that we were dealing with a potential serial strangler/killer and when Mac took our findings to the brass they were not happy. Who wants to tell the public that that there was a mad man on the loose who was strangling women who were walking their dogs with the dog's leash?

It was a Sunday afternoon when we got the call that another body had been found.

When Sheldon asked where the M.E. was, Mac looked at his watch and said, "Should be getting back from Seattle." Just then his phone rang. "Hey Dr. Ed, where are you?" He listened for a moment and then said that he would bring the kit and that Cullen could me us at the scene. He gave him the address and then we left the lab to go to the crime scene. When Mac hung up from the call, he said "Okay, he's just landed at JFK, so he's going to meet us at the scene."

We had only been at the for about 10 minutes when a yellow cab pulled up. It was hard to believe that the person who got out of the cab was Dr. Edward Cullen M.E.; gone were the dress slacks, shirts and ties. The person before us was straight out of the Punk Rocker chic scene, the only thing missing was the guy-liner and tats. We all watched as he put his weekender in Mac's SUV and then grabbed his kit and walked over to us. He was wearing a black Batman T-shirt that was a size too small, was completely faded and showed off his muscled chest, arms and back. Black low slung jeans with a pair of battered Vans in black on black check. He was wearing a leather wrist cuff with some sort of crest and a pair of aviator shades. His hair looked like it hadn't been combed in days; what the ladies called 'bed head'. When he stopped in front of us Mac said, "So?" and smiled.

Cullen chuckled and replied "What can I tell you, she's beautiful and I'm in love."

Mac laughed as Cullen said hello to the rest of us. So the guy was in love, huh? Good for him. I felt the familiar pang in my chest and chose to ignore it. As soon as he saw the body he immediately called for Mac (or Detective Mac as Cullen always called him) Mac bootied and gloved up (Cullen's terms) and came over to crouch next to him. Based on their conversation it looked like Cullen's prelim showed that this victim had been choked, you could clearly see the hand prints on the woman's neck. Mac was not happy because now we didn't know if this was a coincidence, a copycat, or the perp taunting us now by changing his MO.

When we got back to the lab, I went to the morgue to be there when the post was completed. Cullen was elbow deep in the DB with his usual soothing piano music playing in the background. When he looked up, I indicated that I would sit on the sofa in the lounge outside his office and wait until he was finished his post.

Sometime later I heard him say, "Hey guys, I'm done." and I woke up yawning to find Mac in the same state next to me. As we were going over the findings with Danny, Stella and Lindsay, Barry Manilow singing with full orchestra suddenly sounded in the room; "I feel glad when you're glad and I feel sad when you're glad, if you only knew what I'm going through, I just can't smile without you."

Cullen excused himself and went into his office to take the call but we could all clearly hear his end of the conversation. "Hi Mom. Yes, I got in a few hours ago, sorry I didn't call; I got called into work when I touched down. I'm sorry I made you worry. No, I haven't eaten anything yet. I will, Mom. I'm going home soon and then I'll make something and eat. Yes, send me the pic. Okay, I love you too."

He turned back to the room, yawning widely to see us all watching him and smiling.

I chuckled and said "Mama's boy."

He laughed out loud and smiled at me and said, "And damned proud of it. She was worried because I didn't call when I was supposed to, she thought the plane crashed but she didn't see a report on CNN, so she figured I just got sidetracked."

Just then, his phone chirped and he checked it and turned the phone to Mac, who said,

"Is this Ariel? She's got a lot of hair!"

"Same as my sister, I remember the day my parent brought her home from the hospital; she was this little red thing with this big head of black hair."

He showed the rest of us the pic and there was a general awing. We decided to call it a night and we all headed out of the building. He started hailing a cab, when Danny asked, "Hey Romeo, where do you live?"

"I live in Brooklyn Heights, why?"

I turned to him and said, "I'm in the heights too, I can give you a ride."

"I'd appreciate that." he responded, looking grateful. He threw his weekender in the back seat of my car and buckled into the passenger seat.

"Long day." I commiserated.

"Yeah, long weekend period; 6 hour fight to Seattle Friday evening, spend a full day with the family on Saturday catching up and then back to the airport this morning for the return 6 hour flight and then a couple of hours of work; so yeah."

He gave me his address and I chuckled, "I live two streets over." I said."

"So you live near 'The Bakery'?" he asked.

I said "Right around the corner."

"I discovered that place the first day I moved here, they have the best French Roast coffee and the best raisin scones! I always end up going there after my run. In fact, I'm going to go there after my run tonight, just for a scone." He said animatedly.

I looked at my watch and said, "I hate to tell you this, but I think that place may be closed by the time you get in and come back out. Why don't we swing by now and get it?"

"That sounds like a good idea, because I don't think I'm going to come back out if I go in the house right now."

We double-parked in front of 'the Bakery' and luckily it was still open. When we walked in Rosmerta greeted us "Ah my favorite boys together." and she kissed each of us on the cheek. "Ah for you with the Emerald Eyes a raisin scone and for you with the Sapphire eyes a blueberry muffin."

We each nod and we get our baked goods, which she says are on the house. We wish Rosmerta a good night, exit the Bakery and head back to the car. I point out my building to him. We pull away from the curb and within a few minutes we are pulling up in front of his building. He thanks me for the ride, grabs his weekender and hops out of the car and wishes me a good night.

"You too, and enjoy your scone." I say as he I chuckles and tells me to enjoy my muffin.

I laugh as I drive off. I enter my apartment and exhaustion almost overcomes me. I strip, throw my clothes in the hamper and hop in the shower and stand under the hot water, letting the massaging spray ease my tired muscles. After my shower I dry off and pull on my sleep pants and a T-shirt and then set my clothes out for the next day; I decide on sapphire blue (to match my eyes, Gah Madame Rosmerta must be rubbing off on me) dress shirt and tie. I make a cup of tea and enjoy the heck out of my blueberry muffin. By the time I am done, it is almost 11p.m. and I crawl into bed. The last thing I think of is a man with copper hair and Emerald green eyes.

**A/N: **Thanks for reading. I'd appreciate it if you would take the time to review and let me know what you think of the story. Thanks!


	4. Pink And White Equals Happiness

CSI: NY /Twilight Crossover

Never Love Again – The Detective & The M.E.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any book or media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Summary: Fate has changed their lives forever but will they ever allow themselves to love again? Contains Slash, OMCs and OFCs.

EPOV

As the weeks turned into months, there were five additional murders which we determined were carried out by our serial killer. These deaths were either stranglings or throttlings. I got the feeling that the Unsub was toying with us; this was a game to him and he was having fun taunting us, showing us that he was untouchable. The city was up in arms about the NYPD's inability to stop the killings and catch the killer and the brass was riding Mac's ass to get this animal off the streets. We were all doing the best that we could, but until the Unsub made a mistake that would lead us to him, or there was an eyewitness, we were not going to be able to stop the madness; he was good and clever enough to always be one step ahead of us.

It was a quiet, uneventful, gloomy afternoon and I was looking out the window of my office thinking of Chérie's upcoming birthday. She was so excited; she was going to be 8 years old tomorrow and they were throwing a party for her in her class. Thinking of her made me look at my credenza and smile. Scattered among the pictures of my nephews and my niece were pictures of Chérie. There were pictures of her from that trip to the zoo, her recent school picture, a candid shot that her father Marc had taken of her framed in a pink and white Hello Kitty frame (which she had shyly given to me one day when we were visiting the office before going to the BAGC) as well as photos of her from the last group outing to the American Museum Of Natural History's Hayden Planetarium. I laughed when I remember that trip; it was exciting and I suspect that Mac and I had just as good a time as the kids. It was the 'Field Trip To The Moon' virtual show, where you participated in a rocket launch, orbited the earth and then saw a sunrise from the 'rocket'. That was a memorable trip. I l chuckled as I looked at a group shot from that day; Jack, Di, Victorine, Marc, Mac and me with huge smiles on our faces all crouched around a grinning Chérie as she was holding a 'moon rock'. I decided to call her mother to ask her for a suggestion of what to get the little one for her birthday. When I spoke to Vickie she said that all Chérie wanted was anything Hello Kitty. I laughed, I remember when Alice went through a Hello Kitty phase; my parents scoured all of Seattle looking for the very specific Hello Kitty accessories on Alice's list.

When I had gotten off the phone with Vickie I ventured over to Mac's office. He too was enjoying this rare lull in activity by watching the wet, dreary city from his window. When I came into his office I joined him at the window and then proceeded to tell him what Vickie had said about Chérie wanting anything Hello Kitty for her birthday. He chuckled and said that he would never understand females' fascination with Hello Kitty and mentioned that his late wife had a love for all things Hello Kitty as well. He smiled and said that he still used their Hello Kitty toaster every morning as they had when she was alive and would laugh to himself as he ate the toast which had the image of Hello Kitty emblazoned onto it. Mac and I had gotten fairly close over the past few months and he had shared the circumstances of his wife's death with me. I was always appreciative when he would reminisce and mention her and things that she had liked to do; it showed the level of friendship and trust that had grown between us by revealing something so personal. As we were enjoying the companionable silence, my cell rang; I could tell from the chorus of Van Halen's 'Hot For Teacher' that it was Di. I blushed as Mac burst out laughing.

"It's Di; she set the ringtone herself; she thinks it's fucking hilarious, as she says." I grumbled.

"Hey love; you're on speakerphone with me and Mac." I said as a greeting. Mac was still chortling.

"Hello Sweeties, what are you guys up to?" she asked happily. That's the thing about Di, nothing bothered her; she was always happy and she was happy to have another surrogate son in Mac.

"I was just enjoying your ringtone, Di." Mac said, still laughing while I glared at him. That only made him laugh louder.

"Oh, good, I'm glad you like it, next time I see you, I'll program it to my number in your phone for you." She said excitedly. It was my turn to laugh now at the look of horror on Mac's face. I could just imagine him in a meeting with the brass and that song comes blaring out of his phone. He glared at me. That made _me _laugh even harder.

"I was just telling Mac that I spoke with Vickie about what to get Chérie for her birthday and she told me that Chérie wanted anything Hello Kitty. We were about to Google where in Manhattan we could find some Hello Kitty stuff for her when you called." I said

"Oh, I love Hello Kitty!" she squealed.

Yes, my surrogate mother was squealing like a fangirl at a Jonas Brothers' concert over Hello Kitty. Mac and I rolled our eyes at one another and bit our lips to stifle our laughter. "There's a huge Hello Kitty store in Times Square, it would have everything Hello Kitty a girl could ever want. I could help you pick things out for her 'cause you two will be so overwhelmed you won't know what hit you. We could go this evening if you guys don't have any plans." She sounded so eager it was hard not to laugh as we told her that we were available. We made arrangements to meet her later that evening and ended the call. Mac and I laughed and joked that she sounded really eager about this shopping trip and we agreed that we would both keep her in check and try to rein her in should she start to get out of control. Famous Last Words.

When we met up with Di at the entrance to the Hello Kitty store, Mac and I were not prepared for all the pink and white.

"Geez, it's like Pepto Bismol exploded over everything in here!" Mac exclaimed and he and I snickered.

"Listen to me you two, you had better respect Hello Kitty, she is all about fun and happiness and love, so behave!" Di hissed at me and Mac. She was in full on teacher mode and the two of us couldn't help but feel completely chastened and mollified.

"Yes, Di." We both mumbled. My god, how the heck did she make two grown men feel like little boys who misbehaved with just the tone of her voice and a look? I guess once a teacher always a teacher. Mac and I looked at each other sheepishly and then grinned.

"Okay, so do you have anything specific in mind for her?" Di asked cheerfully, the excitement in her voice was catching.

"We were thinking, school supplies, you know, knapsack, lunchbox, pencil cases, all the stuff that a kid her age would have in their bags." I answered for the both of us as Mac and I had agreed on this as we'd taken the subway to meet Di.

"Oh, that's perfect!" Di squealed again. I steadfastly refused to look at Mac for fear that we would burst into laughter and incur the wrath of 'Teacher Diane' again.

By the time we approached the cash register, it was quite obvious that we had all gone overboard! We had bought Chérie a rolling back-pack, an overnight bag (for when she went on sleepovers), a rolling travel bag (for trips) a plush robe with matching slippers, a lunch-box, a pencil case, pencils, erasers, notepads, pens and stickers. Somewhere along the way, I had gotten the idea to buy Ariel a few things as well. Mac and Di had jumped on board that train as well and now I basically had everything a newborn could ever need all courtesy of Hello Kitty. I know that Ali, Rosie and my Mom will think that the stuff is cute and that I'm being a great uncle, but I know that Jazz, Em and my Dad will think that I've lost my fucking mind. I laugh out loud at this, imaging their faces when Ali opens the package. Seeing all of the Hello Kitty stuff makes me think of Ali and I feel so homesick that I find myself picking out a waffle-maker for myself. I look up to see that Mac has one in his hand as well. We give each other a 'bro nod' and carry on. The nod says, 'yep I see that you're buying a Hello Kitty waffle-maker, there's nothing wrong with that and it does not lower your male status in my eyes, but we shall never speak of it'. Next to us, Di snickers loudly, but does not say a word.

By the time we leave the store we are happy and carrying so many bags that Mac and I decide to take a cab back to the office to store our purchases. Di hugs and kisses us goodbye and we part ways. When Mac and I arrive at the office it's around 6:30p.m and since we practically have the place to ourselves we decide to wrap Chérie's gifts. We spread the wrapping paper out on the conference table in his office and for the next hour we worked diligently. When we finished wrapping, we labeled them all 'To our Chérie, from Dr. Jack, Nana Di, Dr. Ed and Detective Mac'. Since he had no room in his office, we schlepped all of the gifts to my office and locked them in an empty cabinet. I had wrapped all of Ariel's gifts in tissue paper and placed them in a huge gift box before placing that in the cabinet as well. I decided that I would take that box to the Fed-Ex office tomorrow morning and send the package as a surprise to Alice. Mac and I called it a night and wished each other a pleasant night as we exited the building.

When I got home, I quickly changed into my running gear and did 4 miles. On my way back to my house, I stopped at 'the Bakery' to get a raisin scone. As I was awaiting my turn to be served, I happened to look over at the counter where the cupcakes were and saw a few Hello Kitty cupcakes. When it was my turn, I asked Rosmerta if I could order a few trays to be picked up tomorrow morning before I left for work. She said yes and I placed an order for 50 cupcakes; 25 Hello Kitty ones for the girls and 25 Sponge Bob ones for the boys. I left the 'the Bakery' excited about Chérie's party and imagining how happy she would be with all her presents.

The next day dawned bright and sunny. I collected the cupcakes and made my way into work. I set the cupcakes on my credenza so that they wouldn't tempt me or anyone else for that matter. I took the package to fed-Ex and was on my way back to my office when I met Flack running towards me; 'He's struck again, Mac wants you to gear up and meet us in the parking garage.'

He ran with me as I went to the lab, grabbed my gear and hustled to the garage. All too soon we were at our new crime scene. Our Unsub had struck again and this time it was brutal. In addition to having been strangled, the vic's face was badly bruised; you could even see the clear outline of the knuckles on her cheeks and forehead. Mac and I looked at one another and I knew that we were thinking the same thing; had our Unsub been more violent with this vic as a message to us? Had we made him angry because we had not released all the details of his crimes to the press? Would this inferred disrespect make him more vicious and violent going forward? The rest of the M.O. was intact; we found the dead dog (a mere puppy this time) and his leash appeared to match the fibers around the vic's neck. I finished up my prelim examinations and recorded my observations, before indicating that the body could be moved and taken to the morgue. The rest of my morning was spent doing the post on our latest victim and writing up my report. This was becoming a regular occurrence; these poor women, all they were doing were walking their dogs and then boom! their lives were ended by some lunatic.

Just before lunch Mac came down to my office. We chatted for a few minutes about this latest vic and what the brass was going to say about our inability to catch the monster praying upon the innocent women and dogs of the city. We got all of Chérie's gifts out of my cabinet and snickered as we admitted that we may have gone a 'tiny' bit overboard when we saw how many gifts we had gotten her. We left my lab with several Hello Kitty gift bags between us drawing 'awws' from every female we passed and snickers from every male. It wasn't easy to be all manly carrying those pink and white bags, but we pulled it off admirably. Once we were outside we were hailing a cab when we saw Flack and Danny coming towards us each chowing down on a 'dirty-water'. When Danny caught sight of us, a devilish grin appeared on his face and he asked,

"Whoa, what the hell's with all the Hello Kitty crap?"

Flack looked at him and said seriously 'Hey Danny, don't knock Hello Kitty, she's all about fun and laughter and love." He continued to munch on his hot dog while Danny watched him in incredulous silence with his mouth hanging open. Mac and I laughed to see Danny temporarily speechless as we put all our packages in the cab and said a quick goodbye to the guys. When we arrived at Chérie's classroom the kids were still at lunch and we set about arranging Chérie's gifts at the front of the class. We saw Vickie and Marc talking to Jack and Di and when they saw me and Mac with all of the bags they started to laugh. Jack turned to Di and said,

"I thought that you were supposed to keep them in check, hon?" Di blushed and Mac and I smirked at everyone.

"Well the gifts are from all of us so it's not so bad, right? I asked.

"Yeah, that's not too bad." Marc agreed.

We all laughed as I showed them the cupcakes I had gotten from 'the Bakery'. Mac had convinced me to only bring 25 as it was a small class and they really shouldn't have a lot of sugar or it would drive the teachers crazy in the afternoon. The party was an Alice in Wonderland themed party and all of the kids wore either an Alice mask or a Cheshire Cat mask while the adults all wore Mad Hatter masks. The party was a huge success and Chérie squealed when she saw all of her gifts and every one of us got a leg hug from her. Her classmates thoroughly enjoyed her Alice In Wonderland cake as well as the cupcakes that I had brought. Mac and I took a bunch of pictures of course and Vickie and Marc thoroughly enjoyed meeting their daughter's friends. Chérie enjoyed introducing Mac and me to her friends and smiling smugly at her friends' awed reactions at meeting 'Dr. Ed' and 'Detective Mac'. Vickie, Marc, Jack and Di introduced Mac and me to Ms. Krabappel, Chérie's teacher, as friends of the family and advised her that we had been put on Chérie's authorized guardian/companion list as someone who had the parents' authority to take Chérie from the premises. We exchanged contact info with Ms. Krabappel and Di and I smiled knowingly as we saw a flicker of interest pass between her and Mac. Di used his interest as a distraction, asked to see his phone and reprogrammed her number with the 'Hot For Teacher' ringtone. By the time we adults left the classroom the kids were stuffed with cake had their own balloon animals compliments of Mac who we all discovered that afternoon could make dogs and only dogs. Chérie had tearfully thanked everyone and said that this was by far her 'bestest birthday ever in her whole life'. I was grinning like a loon behind my mask, I felt so happy that she had enjoyed her birthday.

As Mac and I strolled back to the office, our cells went off with a text message from Flack, "Another one." Cryptic and Succinct; there was no need for us to ask what he meant; we knew that the Unsub had struck again.

"Mac, this is definitely not good, he is so escalated now that at this rate he's going to be killing daily.' I assessed.

Mac and I arrived at the lab, met up with Danny and Flack and went to the scene. It was what we had sorrowfully come to expect. This vic was a very young woman, a look at her id, showed that she was Freshman at NYU. Pictures in her wallet showed her and tiny dog; a teacup yorkie named Ginger. Danny brought over the dog's body in a box; it was so bloody and battered, just like its owner who had been throttled and beaten about the head and face. The afternoon was spent conducting my post and writing up my report. Mac came down briefly to tell me that he had just gotten reamed by the brass; they were understandably very upset that this man was killing and that we weren't doing anything about it. Mac laid down on the couch in my office and sighed, and told me that he had lost his temper at the Chief of Ds and told him it wasn't that they _weren't _doing anything it about the killings it was that they _couldn't_ do anything. We all felt impotent; there was just nothing any of us could do. I don't think I have ever felt more powerless about anything in my life. Soon Danny joined us and the look on his face mirrored ours, this case was really impacting us. Don came in carrying lunch for all of us and we sat and ate in silence, sighs of frustration and then of resignation rending the air occasionally. Flack turned out to be the voice of reason,

"Mac, I know the Chief is giving you a hard time, but we all know that there is nothing any of us can do until this guy makes a mistake. I know the Chief knows that as well, but we're all frustrated and pissed off about the balls this guy has." We all nodded in agreement.

"So, who wants dessert?" I asked to lift the mood

I reached behind me and took the tray of 25 cupcakes from the credenza.

"Holy shit, that's a lot of cupcakes there Dr. Ed." Danny is the first to react.

"So, you have your pick of chocolate or vanilla, Hello Kitty or Sponge Bob." I said.

Not surprisingly Danny picks a Sponge Bob in vanilla; Flack surprisingly takes a chocolate Hello Kitty and then settles back into the sofa to contentedly enjoy his treat. I take a Hello Kitty in chocolate and Mac takes a Hello Kitty in vanilla. We laugh at each other. I figure I might as well end this day filled with Hello Kitty with a Hello Kitty cupcake. Danny looks at the three of us and with a mouth full of cake he asks,

"Okay, you guys have got to tell me what this obsession with Hello Kitty is all of a sudden. I can understand little girls and some grown women liking this shit, but 3 grown men? C'mon."

"When I was a kid, my little sister loved it and I guess that since I'm homesick, it makes me feel connected to her and my family. Plus, Chérie, the little girl who I mentor at the BAGC is addicted to it and so I love it because she loves it." I smile goofily, but I am not the least bit embarrassed.

"Claire loved it. When she was alive she used to squeal and go crazy whenever she saw anything Hello Kitty, her eyes would just light up and she would be so happy. Seeing it reminds me of her and it makes me smile. Plus seeing Chérie squeal in happiness for it makes me happy too." Mac says smiling, his mouth full of cake.

"Jess loved it and it reminds me of her and I can see her smiling and it makes me smile." Flack responded with a small, sad smile on his face.

Danny nodded and finished his cupcake before reaching for a second – a Hello Kitty. I smile to myself, three grown men who love Hello Kitty because of the various females in their lives.

After we'd all polished off our third helping, Flack looked up at me and asked "Hey, are these from 'the Bakery'?"

"Yep." I nodded while patting my stomach contentedly

"Good stuff." He replied while smiling blissfully

Everyone went their separate ways a short while later and I used the rest of the day to catch up on all open paperwork. I also uploaded all of the pics that Mac and I had taken and burned them to a couple of CDs to give to Jack and Di, Vickie and Marc and Mac and Ms. Krabappel. Flack came back to my office in the evening to get autopsy results for another case he was working on and I could see the surprised grin when he pushed open the door to my lab to hear the pulsing beat of Ricky Martin's 'Livin' La Vida Loca'. I had decided that since I was all caught up on everything, I might as well take inventory of my supply cabinets; I was making notations on the clipboard in my hand while singing the song under my breath as he walked towards me.

"Ricky Martin? Really?" he asked as he arched an eyebrow.

"What's wrong with Ricky Martin? Don't pretend you weren't shaking your bon bon to his music when he first hit the scene, Flack." I said, arching my own eyebrow.

"Yeah, I may have danced enthusiastically to this song and a few of his others in a club or two back in the day." He acquiesced grinning sheepishly.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." I said with a guffaw

"I was just surprised to hear this considering you're usually playing Brahms or some other classical composer." I smiled internally; ah the detective, always so observant.

"I listen to classical music when I post or when I'm working on paperwork because it relaxes and soothes me and helps me focus and concentrate on whatever I'm doing." Considering that I've already done 2 posts today, I feel the need for more uplifting music and my IPod obliged.

Flack motioned to my IPod and said "May I?" I nodded and he began scrolling through my Artist list. "Whoa, dude, you have eclectic musical tastes. I don't think I've ever known anyone who likes Bob Marley, Air Supply, The Eagles, Creed, Jay-Z, Linkin Park, Al Green, The Mamas and The Papas, Bill Whithers _and_ Van Halen!"

"What can I say, I like all types of music and I don't believe in limiting myself." I said as I got the paperwork he had come for. He put my IPod back on the dock and we talked about the case for a while and then he sat and quietly studied the report. I finished my inventory and emailed a list of the supplies which were needed to our requisition department. I made sure the lab was tidy and ready for the night-shift M.E. and left him a note with the list of supplies I had submitted for requisition. Once that was done, I gathered up my bag, slung it across my body and grabbed the rest of the cupcakes.

"Ready to head out?" Flack was leaning against the doorframe, hands in his pockets, his own bag slung across his body.

"Yeah, I gotta get in at least five miles tonight after all the crap I ate today. I'm just gonna drop the rest of these off in the break room otherwise I'll eat them all if I take them home with me."

"What was the occasion for the cupcakes today anyway?"

"The girl I mentor at BAGC, Chérie, today was her birthday and so I bought the cupcakes to take to her party in her classroom. That's where Mac and I were going this afternoon when you and Danny saw us."

"What do you mentor her in?"

"I teach her piano and I'm a volunteer whenever they have field trips. She's a great kid and we always have fun on the trips." I was grinning as I talked and I noted to myself that no matter how down I may be about something, talking about Chérie or being around her always cheered me up; that kid was awesome.

"Sounds like you really like this kid." Flack was grinning at my enthusiasm.

"Yeah, I do. Next time she's here I'll bring her to meet you and you'll understand why." I smirked at him.

I left the cupcakes on the table in the break room (the universal sign to anyone that entered that they could help themselves) and then Flack and I took the elevator down to the lobby. We made the trip home on the subway talking from one thing to the other. When we reach our stop we headed up to the street and wished each other a good night and went in opposite directions.

I reached my apartment, stripped, donned my running gear and my Ipod and headed out to begin my run. My playlist for the run was the same every night, it started out slow and then built to a crescendo; the first song on the list was a soca song from a Band called Krosfyah from the tiny island nation of Barbados in the Caribbean, appropriately called 'Pump Me Up'. I discovered this band when some friends and I went on a cruise of the Caribbean one summer when we desperately needed a break from Med School. We spent the weekend in Barbados and met some really nice locals who took us on a tour of the island and then to an open air night-club called After Dark in St. Lawrence Gap. This band Krosfyah was the featured entertainment and I felt in love with their music. By the time we re-boarded the ship at the end of the weekend, I had bought all of their CDs, had discovered one of the best beers in the world (Banks beer) not to mention the strongest rum on the planet (Cockspur) and was enamored with the soca/calypso music genre. I was also proficient in dancing to their music and …well, you know what they say, 'What happens in Barbados stays in Barbados'. To this date that was the best time I have ever had partying anywhere period. I smile as I think back to all of the things we did in the two days on that island. My friends and I have been talking for years about making a trip back before life gets away from us all; alas I think it's already too late, but we can all dream. I completed 4 miles with no problems, but felt myself hitting the wall a quarter ways through the 5th mile. This is where I needed extra motivation and I found it in Ricky Martin's The Cup Of Life. The opening refrain "Do you Really Want It?" just pushed me and the salsa beat made my body MOVE! Soon I pushed past my wall and then I was there, 5 miles!!! I jogged in place cooling down in front of my building, bouncing to the music…and now I'm singing the words out loud while beating imaginary bongo drums! Uno, Dos, Tres, Ale, Ale, Ale, Une, Deux, Trois, Ale, Ale, Ale. After my cool down I stretched my muscles on the steps and finished to the song's closing refrain 'Yeah!' throwing my arms in the air and running triumphantly up the stairs and into my apartment. I stripped, tossed a load of laundry in the washing machine, put the kettle on and took a hot shower still humming the song under my breath. I put on sleep pants, tossed the laundered clothes into the dryer and made a cup of Mango Mania herbal tea. I decided to catch an episode of NCIS on the USA Network and sipped my tea while munching on some raisin bran cereal. Once the show was over, I brushed my teeth, prepared my clothes for the next day, settled into bed and drifted off to sleep; my last thought is of Chérie at her party, squealing in excitement over all of her Hello Kitty gifts. I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

**A/N: **Thanks for reading. I'd appreciate it if you would take the time to review and let me know what you think of the story. Thanks!


	5. Healing & Marmalade

CSI: NY /Twilight Crossover

Never Love Again – The Detective & The M.E.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any book or media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Summary: Fate has changed their lives forever but will they ever allow themselves to love again? Contains Slash, OMCs and OFCs.

DPOV

The days _were_ getting better. Slowly but surely I was starting to feel a bit like my old self. I had Danny to thank for a lot of that, but most of it had to do with the fact that I was immersing myself in other activities outside of my job. I had cut back on the insane amount of overtime I had been doing and went back to a more manageable, typical load. Danny and I still played ball at the Y every Saturday morning, mentored at the BAGC and then volunteered at a Soup Kitchen in Brooklyn at lunch time. The rest of the weekend was spent on chores, laundry, errands, reading, watching tv/movies etc. The Team had been doing their best to be there for me as well; they followed Danny and Mac's lead and didn't treat me any differently than they used to. The last thing I wanted was to be treated like some fragile piece of broken glass, but I was glad to have them and their support around me. My visits to Dr. Sloan were now bi-weekly but I still felt that they were necessary and were good for me.

I had been taking the subway home from work with Cullen at least 3 nights a week for a few weeks now and was happy to see that we had quite a few things in common. We were both big NHL fans and had actually played hockey recreationally while we were in college. We rooted for different teams (I was a New York Islanders fan and he was a Chicago Blackhawks fan) and loved highlighting the 'glaring faults' of the other's team. We liked the same type of movies and right now we were going through a Jason Statham and a Simon Pegg 'phase' and decided it had something to do with the recitation of cheesy one-liners in an English accent. At around the end of week two, we discovered our first sticking point in this budding friendship. We were walking down the hall coming from a briefing in Mac's office, talking about how Ben Affleck had completely ruined the Jack Ryan franchise with his abysmal acting in The Sum Of All Fears, when Cullen said the unthinkable,

"I found my Jack Ryan replacement anyway; Vince Flynn's Mitch Rapp is kick-ass awesome!"

I stopped short and looked at him incredulously, "Uh, no, everyone knows that the heir to Jack Ryan is Brad Thor's Scot Harvath." I crossed my arms and stood in front of him.

"You must be joking! Rapp is clearly the more bad-assed and he gets more done, _Flack_!" Cullen's pose now mirrored my own and we were standing in the middle of the hallway glaring at each other.

"That's because Harvath's bureaucratic bosses prevent him from getting anything done the way he would like, _Cullen_!"

We were at a standoff and it would probably have stayed that way if I didn't see the corner of Cullen's mouth start to twitch and we started laughing at the same time. Soon we were doubled over and then slapping each other on the back. I was desperately trying to say something but I was laughing so hard that I was literally incapable of speech. Cullen had tears running down his cheeks and his face was almost as red as his hair when he managed to squeak out,

"Oh man, you should have seen your face. I thought you were going to explode."

"I can't believe we were even arguing about which _fictional character _was better and more effective! I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time. Thanks, I really needed that." I said clapping him on the shoulder.

"Yeah, me too. It's been a while." He replied, and a look of sadness flit across his face for a split second. Yes, it seemed our new M.E. had ghosts of his own.

Cullen looked at his watch and said, 'Oh, I gotta go pick up my Chérie. Hey, are you gonna be here for a bit? I'll bring her by the precinct so she can meet you. She would get a kick out of meeting you and seeing where you work."

"Sure, bring her by; I'm heading back down there now."

He stuck his hand out to me, "So, we'll agree to disagree on Rapp and Harvath?"

I shook his hand, trying to steadfastly ignore that arc of electricity that shot between us again. "Yes, agree to disagree. Although, might I suggest that we each read the first book in the series to determine if our intense dislike of the other's hero is justified?"

"Deal! Dude, how are we ever going to make it through hockey season without killing one another?" he asked and chuckled as we continued on to the elevators.

MPOV

I watched as Flack and Dr. Ed left my office, walking down the hallway talking animatedly about something or the other, gesturing wildly with their hands and laughing. I was glad to see that they were becoming friends. I think they have more in common than even they know. I can sense the 'loss' in both of them. You didn't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that Dr. Ed was running from something back in Seattle; he clearly was here in the Big Apple to get a fresh start. Donnie had experienced the ultimate trauma, losing someone he loved; but he was healing. It had fallen to Danny as his best friend to be there for him but maybe an outsider like Dr. Ed who didn't have a tie to Jessica was just what was needed. I chuckled as I continued to look at them. They were facing each other now and you could clearly see how similar in build they were; Cullen being a bit more muscular and about an inch shorter. Something was off now though, their demeanor had changed and they were glaring at one another and their stances were hostile as they faced-off. What the hell had happened in such a short period of time to warrant this sudden change? Suddenly the two of them burst out laughing, doubling over and slapping each other on the back. Within the next few minutes when they had regained control, they shook hands and then resumed their walk to the elevators laughing and talking. I don't remember the last time I had seen Flack laugh like that, hard and genuine, I couldn't help smiling. I looked over at Stella through the glass wall that separated our offices and we smiled at each other; yes, our boy was definitely healing.

EPOV

As I trekked from the office to Chérie's school I couldn't help but chuckle at the absolute absurdity of the 'my counter-terrorist operative is better than your counter-terrorist operative' conversation that Flack and I had just had. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Flack and I had been slowly getting to know one another over the past few weeks. He would come to my lab and hang out when he was waiting for my autopsy results or I would go to the precinct to deliver them to him when I had free time. We took the subway home a few nights a week and spent that time learning more about each other. We pretty much talked about everything with the exception of our love lives. That was a topic I was not going to venture into with anyone; as far as I was concerned that part of my life was over. I sensed that this was a sore topic for Flack as well, so we shared an unspoken agreement not to discuss it.

As I was waiting at the office for Chérie to be brought to me I thought of how excited she was going to be meeting Flack and touring the precinct. I knew she would have a lot of questions and I hoped he was ready. Since that first day when she had conned me into seeing where I worked (it was that thing she did with her eyes, I just couldn't say no to her!) I had decided that the first half an hour after I collected her was our 'free time' to do something fun before going to the BAGC for her piano lesson.

I heard her squeal before I saw her, "Hey Dr. Ed!" then I got my leg-hug.

"Hey Chérie, how's my favorite 8 year old today?" I asked crouching down to her level.

"Good, I did really good on my Spelling test today and Ms. Krabappel gave me a gold star!"

"Really _well_, Chérie, you did really _well. _Good job, high five." I held up my hand and she slapped it. "Whoa, you are getting really strong, you weren't this strong when you were 7!" I said, pretending to rub my hand from the pain.

She giggled and hid her face in my shoulder.

"So, I have a surprise for you, I'm taking your to meet a friend of mine."

"Okay, are we gonna see Detective Mac today too?"

"Yes, if he's in his office we can go see him."

"Yay!"

I took her hand as we waved goodbye to the ladies in the office and headed to the precinct; Chérie chattering about her day and me asking questions where I could. She was excited because they had recently gotten a pet guinea-pig. They had all voted on names and the winning name had been Marmalade because of the color of the guinea-pig. So every Thursday she told me all about Marmalade's antics.

"Marmalade doesn't do much, Dr. Ed; he eats, sleeps and poops and spins on his wheel." She paused like she was deep in thought and then looked up at me. "He poops a _lot_!" I tried to stifle my laughter at this pronouncement. Yes, every little kid had to learn this the hard way; it was the reality of having pets. By then we were walking up the steps of the precinct.

"Are we here, Dr. Ed?" she asked curiously as we walked through the precinct on the way to Flack's desk.

"Yes we are and here's my friend." I said as we stopped in front of Flack's desk. He stood and then smiled at her.

"Hello." he said crouching in front of her and offering her his hand to shake.

She pushed back into my legs shyly and looked up at me.

"Chérie this is my friend Don and he's a police officer." I said smiling down at her.

"Are you a detective like my friend Detective Mac?" she asked, her eyes wide in excitement; her curiosity over-ruling her temporary shyness.

Flack nodded and then said, "You know Detective Mac? He's my friend too!"

"Nice to meet you Detective Don I'm 8 years old and my name is Chérie, not like the fruit, it's French and it means Darling." She said confidently, her shyness now a thing of the past. She shook his hand and then said to him. "So we're at the police station? Ooohhh, can I see the jail? Pwease?" I looked at Flack and tried unsuccessfully to prevent my snicker from escaping at the look on his face. You see, I know that look well. It is the look of a man who has just been wrapped around the little finger of an 8 year old girl, who said 'pwease' and then did the 'eye-thing' to get her way.

"Sure, I have to make sure it's safe for you first though okay? So you have to stay behind me at all times." Chérie nodded, taking his words seriously.

Flack got up from his chair, winked at me and motioned for me to follow his lead, 'Alright, alright, make way, make way, we're going to cell#1!" He said loudly while walking through his squad room, Chérie following excitedly behind him, dragging me by the hand. I exchanged grins with the other detectives in the squad room who were getting a kick out of how excited Chérie was. We did a quick tour of an empty cell and then an interrogation room (which Chérie referred to as the terror room) and then made our way out of the precinct, stopping to introduce her to the Desk Sergeant on duty. As we entered the elevator, she reached for Flack's hand and begun to tell him all about Marmalade and his pooping habits. Our gaze met over her head and he smiled; yes, now he understood why I loved this kid. When the elevator doors opened she walked out dragging the two of us by the hands as she made her way to Mac's office. Mac was sitting at his desk working at the PC when Flack knocked on the door. "Detective Mac, do you know this young lady? She said she's a friend of yours so I didn't book her."

"Hi Detective Mac!" Chérie squealed, dropped our hands and ran across the room to give a now standing Mac his leg-hug before looking up at him and saying "Detective Don put me and Dr. Ed in the cell, but I wasn't afraid _at all_ 'cause I'm 8 now and not a little kid anymore! We got a guinea-pig at school and all it does is poops! Ooooh and I did really _well _on my Spelling test today and Ms. Krabappel gave me a gold star, she told me to tell you 'hi' by the way, I think she likes you."

She got all of this out in a matter of seconds with no breath in between. The three of us looked at each other, digesting all of the information and when the part about Ms. Krabappel registered, Mac blushed and grinned and Flack and I snickered. Chérie had taken her spelling list out of her bag to show us her grade (A+) and the big gold star on the top of the page. We all 'oh-ed' and 'ah-ed' at it before she put it away.

"Alright, Chérie, say goodbye to Det. Mac, we have to get to the Club to begin your lesson. We're starting a new song today remember?"

"Oh, yay! I can play Chopsticks really _well_ now, I can make it all the way through with no mistakes!" she said to Mac and Flack.

Mac leaned down to hug her and then said, "See you on Sunday, Chérie."

"Oh, can Det. Don come too?" she asked eagerly looking at me. "Pwease?" Gah, the eyes again!

"I'm sure Det. Don might already be busy on Sunday, Chérie, so I'm not sure he can join us." Don looked at me curiously and I explained. "There's a field trip to the New York Hall Of Science on Sunday and Mac and I are volunteers, you're more than welcome to come with us, we could always use extra more volunteers."

"Sure, that sounds like fun, I haven't been there since I was a kid!" he said eagerly.

"Yay! We're all going to the Science Hall, we're all going to the Science Hall!" Chérie sang while running around the three of us. We were laughing when Mac's cell phone started ringing, the chorus of Van Halen's 'Hot For Teacher' rending the air. I laughed as I realized who was calling and Mac laughed and blushed as Don arched his eye-brow and said,

"Really, Mac?"

"Chérie it's Nana Di, why don't you answer?" he pressed the speakerphone button.

"Hi Nana Di, it's me Chérie!"

"Well hello my little Darling, are you visiting Det. Mac with Dr. Ed?" she asked happily

"Yep, and their friend Det. Don is here too; he put me in the cell earlier, but I wasn't scared at all! Det. Don is coming to the Science Hall with us on Sunday too. Oh, now we need someone to go with Det. Mac, Nana." Mac and I looked at each other and we both knew where this was going to end up.

"Oh, you know you're right, Chérie. Hmmm, I wonder who else we could have come?" By this time, Mac's head was in his hands and I was turning red from trying not to laugh out loud. Don was watching the both of us while Chérie swung his arm. "Oh, Eureka! I think I'll ask your teacher, Chérie, I met her at your Birthday Party and she seems very nice!" I looked over at Mac now and he was sporting a stunning shade of green.

"Oooh, Nana, I think she would like that. She told me to say 'hi' to Det. Mac, I think she likes him and I think he likes her too." she came closer to the phone and whispered that last part, almost as if by doing so only Nana Di would be able to hear her pronouncement. By this time I practically had my fist in my mouth trying to prevent the laughter that was trying to escape me. Mac was glaring at me and the phone.

"Really, Chérie? Hmm, I have her number here somewhere, I'll give her a call now. Okay, Sweeties, I'll see you all on Sunday. Looking forward to meeting you Det. Don! Toodles!" with that she laughed evilly and hung up.

"Det. Mac, Ms. Krabappel is really nice and maybe if you're good on Sunday, she'll give you a gold star too." Chérie said her face serious and earnest. At that, I totally lost it and I fell over into one of the chairs and held my stomach as the tears rolled down my face. I looked up and saw that Mac and Don were also laughing.

"You grown-ups are funny, but at least you won't be alone Det. Mac, you'll have Ms. Krabappel, Dr. Ed will have Det. Don and I will have Henry." Scooby said Ruh Roh!? Who the heck was Henry??

"Uh, Chérie, who is Henry?" I asked, my fit of mirth forgotten.

"He's my boyfriend." She said matter of fact.

"Your w-what??" I sputtered

"He asked me to be his girlfriend on Tuesday and I said yes. So now he carries my books."

I looked at Mac and Don who now shared my expressions of disbelief, concern and uncertainty about this subject, something we were obviously not acquainted with. I would have to call Di tonight and ask for help on handling this situation. I looked at my watch and motioned for Chérie that it was time for us to be going. We all started walking towards the elevator, Chérie once again holding my and Don's hands and Mac walking by my side. When we got to the elevator, Cherie pressed the down arrow button and then turned to Mac and Don.

"Bye Det. Mac, I'll ask Ms. Krabappel about the gold star, okay? It was nice to meet you and see the jail cell, Det. Don. See you on Sunday at the Hall!"

I waved goodbye to Mac and Don and got on the elevator watching an excited Chérie pressing the button for the lobby.

Friday was a busy day for me in the lab, there had been a liquor store robbery the night before in which the store owner was shot and killed defending his livelihood. That post took most of my morning and I had a nagging headache by the time I had completed it. I finished up and went to my office, ate my roast beef sandwich and then decided to do the only thing that I knew could rid me of this headache – meditation. I got the yoga mat out of the bottom drawer of my credenza, toed off my shoes and then lay flat on my back on the mat with my body prone and my eyes closed. After a while, I could feel the tension and pain leaving my body and then suddenly I could hear someone yelling my name and shaking my shoulder. I looked up into the bluest eyes I had ever seen, it was Don and the look of concern on his face quickly roused me out of my meditative state.

"Ed, are you okay?" he asked while reaching out a hand to me and helping me to my feet.

"Yes, I'm fine. I was meditating trying to get rid of this niggling headache I had. I didn't mean to frighten you."

He smiled tentatively and then took a deep breath. "Well, I hope that headache is gone, because our day is about to get a bit crazier. Our boy struck again and they're two victims this time. Get your gear you're riding with me"

I looked at him in disbelief. Two victims, what the hell was our boy playing at?

When we got to the scene I could see Mac having a spirited conversation on his cell-phone. Oh, this was not going to be good if the brass was already riding his ass when he hadn't even begun processing the scene yet. I nodded to him and then Flack and I bootied and gloved up and approached the scene. Holy Mother of God, I had to swallow back the bile that rose into the back of my throat. Flack had been right; there were two victims- a mother and a child. The little girl's neck had obviously been broken; you didn't need a medical degree to interpret the odd angling of her neck as she lay on the ground. The mother had been throttled; again you could clearly see the handprints going around her neck. What made the scene particularly gruesome was the amount of blood surrounding her body. When I bent down to examine her more closely, I discovered the source of the blood. All of her fingers had been cut off at the first joint. I heard Flack's quick intake of breath and I knew that he had seen it also. I grabbed evidence bags from my kit and wrapped her hands so that they would be no more potential contamination from the environment. I was talking out loud, theorizing into my recorder when a though hit me. Our guy had gotten sloppy, careless, arrogant even. He had obviously underestimate the situation as he was presented with it, he thought that a mother and child would be easy to control, what he didn't bank on was a mother bear's instinct to protect her cubs at all costs. This woman had fought him, I looked at her hand and upper arms and there they were defensive wounds. This woman had fought to save her daughter. She had probably scratched him, that's why he took her fingers, he knew that she would have his DNA underneath her nails. This fucker was sick, but there was no denying that he was intelligent.

Once I had finished my preliminary examination and recorded my findings and first thoughts, I steeled myself for the harrowing task of examining the little girl. When I gently rolled her over so that I could see her face I was immediately struck by how young she looked and that thankfully she looked like she was peacefully sleeping her eyes closed and her mouth an open 'o'. I said a prayer and hoped that she hadn't suffered. When I was finished my prelim, I nodded to my assistants for the bodies to be removed to the lab. Flack and I stood and watched as they gently placed the young girl into the body-bag and I couldn't help but think that it could have been Chérie. I shook my head quickly to get rid of the image and to get my thoughts back on the job at hand. Flack would remain at the scene as Lindsay and Sheldon collected as much forensic evidence as they could as this was a bigger crime scene than the previous ones.

The rest of my day was spent performing the posts on our two newest victims. Mac and Flack brought one of the NYPD's profilers to the lab to go over the autopsy results and the report. She listened as I went over the results and then asked to see the body. I showed her the bruising about the mother's neck and on her chest where the Unsub sat on her to throttle her. She was thorough in her own exam of the body and I could tell from the numerous questions that she asked me that she was a stickler for detail. She looked at the stumps of the vic's fingers and hesitated to agreed with my assessment that the tool that was used to remove them was most likely a garden tool like a pruning shears.

"How and why would you be so specific in your assessment?" she asked pointedly with an arched eyebrow. What the fuck, is she questioning how I come to my conclusions? I stared at her steadily and then realized that she had been setting a neat trap for me. I smirked internally. Bring it, bitch!

"Well Detective Nichols, in my years as an M.E. I have come across all manner of dismemberment some more memorable than others. It also helps that there is a database maintained by the American Association Of Medical Examiners where we log photos of dismembers which can then be accessed by licensed M.E.s for comparison. As I noted in my report, of which I provided you a copy, the specific appearance of the flesh and bone on the vic's dismembered digits match those from the database as having been done by a gardening tool, specifically a pruning shears. I have included Photographic comparison in my report." I was trying hard not to be pissed that she was trying to show me up in front of my boss and colleague and so I brought up the two photos on the overhead monitors so that there could be no doubt in anyone's mind. I've never wanted to flip someone the bird so badly in my life.

I am guessing that Mac had had enough of her as well because he was having a hard time keeping the irritation out of his voice when he turned to her and asked, "Det. Nichols, you have copies of all of Dr. Cullen's reports as well as the open case files of all of the victims which I have provided you from my Team, let us know if there is anything else we can help you with." She nodded her thanks to all of us and left my lab. The three of us rolled our eyes before laughing out loud.

"You handled yourself well there, Ed." Don said and Mac nodded in agreement.

"Thanks, when I realized she was laying that trap for me I had to check my emotions and just let the facts speak for themselves." I mumbled.

"I'm interested to hear what they are going to add to the profile now after these new victims." Don wondered out loud.

We chatted for a short while before they left to attend to other matters and me to perform the post of another crime statistic.

Late that afternoon I was working on my submission for the America Association Of Medical Examiners Journal when the phone rang.

"Dr. Cullen." I answered, my greeting curt.

"Dr. Cullen, it's Det. Nichols. Look, we got off on the wrong foot earlier and I wanted to apologize."

I said nothing, allowing her to get to the point of her call.

"I'm about to present the updated profile and I wanted to have you present in case there are any questions regarding the autopsy results." She elaborated

"Where is the presentation being held?" I asked

"It's in the Brooklyn Conference Room on the 8th floor at 3:30p.m." she answered

I looked at my watch; I had about 25 minutes before it started. "I'll be there, Det. Nichols and I accept your apology, this Unsub has us all on edge; the sooner we can catch him and put him behind bars the best for everyone."

"You're absolutely right; we need to catch this guy now. I'll see you at 3:30." She said and hung up.

As I was hanging up the phone I looked up and saw Mac and Flack standing outside my door. I stood and motioned for them to enter.

"I just got my invitation to the ball." I said dryly "I don't even understand why they need to update the profile, nothing has changed from the previous victims to now."

"What do you mean, Ed?" Don asked me with a look of curiosity.

"I mean, the M.O. has not changed from the previous victims to these latest two." I reiterated.

"But he never took parts of the body before, he never took a trophy." Mac said.

"He didn't take the fingers as a trophy; he took them because he needed to. At some point during the attack, she fought him. She knew that her daughter's life was threatened so she did what any mother bear does to protect their cub,_ she_ attacked _him_. My bet is she scratched him and he's intelligent and knowledgeable enough about forensics to know that she had his DNA under her fingernails, so he did the most prudent and wise thing, he cut them off and took them with him." I looked at them both intently trying to get them to understand the thought process of this monster.

Mac eyed me speculatively and I continued. "Look, this guy is organized and controlled. He lost control of this situation because his victim fought him, but he took that control back by taking the evidence which could have led to him being caught."

"He's right." Mac said looking from me to Flack. "This just shows us that he will do whatever he has to; to ensure that he never gets caught."

"What we are essentially waiting for is for our boy to make a mistake. I have a feeling that it seriously bothered him that he had to deviate from his M.O. and actually take those fingers." I speculated out loud, biting my lip as I thought it through.

Mac glanced at his watch and we left my office and headed to the elevator. When we opened the door for the conference room it was 'standing room only' so we stood at the back of the room, arms crossed, stances wide, Flack and Mac flanking me.

"Good afternoon, my name is Det. Nichols and I am the lead Profiler on what has been dubbed the 'Dog Walker Killer' series of homicides." I scoffed, she couldn't even be truthful and call him a serial killer, but I guess this was part of reducing his power. Don nudged me with his elbow and when I looked at him he discreetly rolled his eyes. I guess I wasn't the only one thinking what I was thinking.

"Given the latest victims we have revised the profile on the killer: he is a white male between the ages of 25 to 38. He is what we call an Organized/Nonsocial offender. With the change in his M.O. with the latest victim, taking the fingers as a souvenir and a trophy we believe that he has evolved into a Lust killer. We believe that he has taken the parts of the body to, for lack of a more PC way of saying this…to eat them. He wants to make sure that this victim will be forever a part of him."

She continued and I wanted to throw my hands in the air at how fucking off the mark they were on this guy. I was shifting in exasperation and Mac sensing this, put his hand on my shoulder to calm me. I looked at him and shook my head. He knew what I was trying to say and subtly nodded back. We would talk after we left this room. Luckily my expertise was not needed and the briefing and the follow –up question and answer session ended and then we quickly headed down to my office. Walking into the lab, I started to bite my lip, a nervous habit I had picked up from Bella; she always did it when she had an opinion or theory that she was hesitant to share because she felt that it would be unpopular. Don looked at me and asked,

"What are you thinking, Ed?"

I looked from him to Mac and motioned for them to come into my office. Once we were all inside, I closed the door and started pacing the area in front of my desk. Mac and Don took their usual spots on the little sofa and watched silently as I got my thoughts together. I walked over to the bookcase and grabbed a replica Harry Potter Snitch and started tossing it from one hand to the other while pacing. I took a deep breath and leaned against the front of my desk and looked at them.

"Okay, so the basic profile of the Unsub is a white male 25 to 38 years of age. He is what they call an Organized/Nonsocial offender. He is obviously very intelligent and what he did to the latest victim only proves that he obviously has knowledge of forensics. He knew enough that the vic would have had his DNA under her nails, so in his mind he did the most prudent thing to rectify that problem. He cut of her fingers and took the evidence with him thus retaining complete control of the scene. We know that he has to have been keeping track of how his spree has been reported in the press and he reacted negatively by escalating and changing his M.O. I don't think he's devolving, I think he is toying with us. He let us know that he was not happy that we are not being honest about him and his 'art' to the media and the world, he thinks that we are usurping his glory, impeding his greatness and notoriety. The problem here is that the Unsub is purposely mixing his methods, there are traits of a Disorganized/Asocial offender for example, these attacks could be a both planned (he has watched the victims, knows their routines and follows them) then unplanned (he surprises them in a blitz attack and then kills them and their dog). I believe that what we are dealing with here is an intelligent, self-educated man who is killing purely for the thrill; he is a Hedonist; he is getting off on this, but not in a sexual way, it's purely for the rush he gets! This is why he is strangling them. It takes a sick, sick, cold individual to strangle or throttle someone, you are usually directly over the victim watching as the life literally leaves their bodies and their eyes. You can _feel_ their last breath; you can _feel_ that final and ultimate slackening of the body. That is the _thrill_ for him. At that moment he is in his nirvana. He sees what he is doing as the perfect crimes and he doesn't believe that he will ever be caught. He is arrogant and narcissistic enough to think that he is smarter than all of us and so far he has been right. My fear is that the focus on the dismemberment is going to distract from this and make them think that that may have some sort of ritualistic or psychosexual meaning, when in fact it clearly doesn't." I took a deep breath and continued looking at them waiting for their reactions. "That's just my opinion." I added lamely.

"What you're saying makes sense, Ed. Mac, I think you have to take this to the brass. If Nichols' profile includes sexual elements that contradict what Ed pointed out then we will all be wasting time on a faulty profile. Not to mention, when she shares the profile at their press conference tonight, she will infuriate him." Don was looking at Mac eagerly as I continued to pensively bite my lip.

"Listen guys, yes, this knowledge comes in handy for me once in a while, but Det. Nichols is a trained profiler, this is what she does for a living she is not going to appreciate someone encroaching on her territory, not to mention that it's the new guy who happened to have taken a few profiler classes. I don't want to get caught up in a turf war here, Mac."

Just then my office phone rang and I answered it my voice showing the frustration I was feeling at this new potential clusterfuck of a situation. I leaned over and hit the speakerphone button.

"Dr. Cullen." I answered with more brevity than I normally would.

"Edward, it's Stella, are Mac and Don with you, none of you are answering your cells?"

"Stell, we're all here, we put our cells on silent when we were at the profile meeting, sorry, what do you need?"

"The brass is looking for you Mac and you too Don."

Both Don and Mac were looking at me and I already was so not liking where this was going.

"Thanks Stell." Mac said while turning the ringer back on on his cell. Don and I did the same.

"Ed, you're coming with us. Tell them your theory. If they don't want to hear it then we tried but it _will _be the profile that _we_ use to get this fucker off the streets." Mac said to me and his tone brooked no resistance.

Ten minutes later we were being ushered into the office of the Chief of Police. Already present were the Chief of Detectives (Mac's boss), Det. Nichols and a man standing behind her who I assumed was her boss; the Chief of Police was turned with his back to the room looking out the window. When he turned to face the room the polite murmurs and chit chat abruptly ended. Once all introductions were made he sat behind his desk and said,

"In about 1 hour, Mancini's office is going to convene a press conference outside 1PP to release the profile to the public. We want to get this information out on the 6 o'clock news and for it to make the print runs as the lead front page story in all of tomorrow's dailies. Before we had the presser, I wanted to make sure that everyone in this room, who have all been working closely on this case from the very first murder, is on the same page. We all heard from Det. Mancini's department today at the profile update meeting. Det. Taylor, since it was your people who alerted us to the fact that we had a serial on our hands, I want to hear what you have to say." All eyes turned to Mac and there was a moment of absolute crushing silence. I felt as though I was going to explode from a combination of the tension in the room coupled with my absolute dread of what was going to happen next. As if sensing my rising panic, Mac and Do imperceptibly moved closer to me, flanking me and bolstering my spirit.

"Chief, actually it was our new M.E. here Dr. Cullen who made the initial connection and he actually has a new theory about our serial killer which he shared with me and Det. Flack only a few minutes before we were called to your office. We believe that it's sound and worth listening to. Ed." He looked at me and nodded in encouragement.

I squared my shoulders and stared right at The Chief and repeated basically verbatim what I said to Mac and Don earlier. I refused to look at anyone else. I spoke clearly, professionally yet earnestly, trying to let the conviction of my voice underscore the sureness of the words that I was speaking. There was a long moment of stunned silence once I had finished and then the questions started. They wanted to know what training I had to make these types of assumptions (this question predictably came from Nichols' boss Mancini), I kept my cool and answered the question looking him dead in the eye to let him see that I was being open and honest. Then the floodgates opened and I was being pummeled, Mac and Don were grilled about evidence collected at the crime scene and about the forensic evidence. They all agreed that it was a plausible theory, but agreed that they were going to go with the profile Mancini and Nichols came up with. I knew walking into that office that this was going to be the outcome, but seeing, hearing and feeling it play out was surreal. The Chief thanked Mac, Don and me for coming and then we were summarily dismissed. We went back to my office and Mac and Don relaxed on the sofa with their feet on the coffee table, while I lay on the mat behind my desk kneading my head.

"So that headache is back, huh?" Don asked chuckling

"Dude, it never left." I replied

"I don't have a good feeling at all about this. I can just see this guy in his apartment tonight watching as they describe him incorrectly, he is going to be very irate and that will severely push the bounds of his control. He could go out and kill even more indiscriminately, but this is our chance to catch him because maybe in his anger at our perceived incompetence he will finally make the mistake that we need in order to catch him." Flack's tone and his words were ominous. We decided to settle in for the next few hours and watch the live coverage of the Chief's press conference and later the reactions to it. Mac ordered in Thai food for the whole Team and we devoured it in relative silence. After eating I felt better and went and sat in my chair and but my feet up on the corner of my desk.

"So how do you know so much about profiling, Ed?" Don asked

"Took a few profiling classes at Quantico and I read a lot; the knowledge helps me see what type of person would do the things that bring their victims to my table. There are also a few other fellows of the American Association of Medical Examiners (AAME – we pronounced it as AhMee because we're a bunch of pretentious twits) who have actually interviewed Serial Killers and study their psychology so there is a lot of research material that we have to draw upon when we write and publish to the JAME The Journal of American Medical Examiners."

"Are you published in the JAME?" Don asked

"Finalizing my first submission and presenting next weekend." I said softly

"What's it about?"

"The forgotten art of Necrophilia and the fight to regain its exalted and rightful place in the modern world." I said deadpan.

The looks on their faces made me suddenly howl with laughter. Sometimes it was just too easy. Jasper was the only one who never fell for this type of sick humor; Emmett was the easiest mark of all.

"Sorry, it's M.E. humor, but I couldn't resist using that one on you guys. Oh man, you should see your faces! Seriously, I'll explain it once I submit it, I don't want to jinx anything by talking about it now."

"Fair enough, and are sure you never met Sid? He would have loved your humor." Mac laughed. His phone beeped and after reading the text message he grabbed the remote off of the coffee table and turned on the tv. "Press conference is about to start."

We watched as the Chief made some opening remarks about the crime rate in the City being the lowest it has been in over 50 years and then he handed it over to Det. Mancini to give the profile on the man that they believed was responsible for the spate of murders over the past few months. After Mancini was finished both he and the Chief declined to take any questions and turned their backs and walked away from the podium. In the coming days that scene and image would be re-played thousands of times on tv and immortalized forever in print as a sign of the incompetence and callousness of the NYPD. We watched the reactions of citizens, politicians and John Q. Public on the 6 o'clock news and predictably the NYPD was not being shown in a good light. We were deemed incompetent and callous; the image of the Chief and Mancini turning their backs and refusing to answer questions put to them by the concerned and frightened citizens, was a stinging criticism and indictment. The three of us looked at each other and knew that it was going to get a helluva lot worse before it got even a little better.

We decided to call it a night and go home and get some much needed rest. "Don't forget Sunday; we're meeting at the BAGC at 7:30a.m. sharp guys." I reminded them.

"Oh, Mac, are you going to do anything special for your date?" Don asked, snickering softly.

"Mac and Ms. Krabappel sitting in a tree…" I started in the sing song voice of a six year old.

"Finish that ditty and I call Det. Nichols and tell her you really have a crush on her, but are too shy to ask her out." Mac said, his face and voice deadly serious. I sputtered to a stop and blanched.

"Do not even _joke _about that." I was barely able to get that out what with the distaste in my mouth. Don laughed at the two of us.

"Come along boys, let's play nicely in the sandbox, okay? One of you will even get a gold-star for 'good behavior'." He said and waggled his eyebrows suggestively while grinning mischievously. That caused me and Mac to burst out laughing. On that note we called it a night. Don and I took the subway home, but we were both so mentally exhausted, we didn't talk but just enjoyed one other's presence and let the rocking cadence of the Iron Horse lull us.

**A/N: **Thanks for reading. I'd appreciate it if you would take the time to review and let me know what you think of the story. Thanks!


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